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I'm not sure what I think about whether it is helpful, but I would caution against over-normalizing polyamory as if it's just a small, inconsequential thing you're doing differently in your life. A typical newbie walking into polyamory might find that their life begins to look very different...

I think the distinction between polyamory and monogamy in terms of the term "lifestyle" is that monogamy is essentially universal. This makes those who practice it largely unencumbered by their choice, as it is very much the default option. Polyamory, on the other hand, is distinct from the...

Can he maintain an agreement with you while simultaneously not honoring the same agreement with your meta? Or does failing to uphold it with the meta automatically invalidate the agreement with you? If adherence to the agreement with you necessitates the meta's consent, this could be more...

The message stated that OP and daughter will “always” be welcome in his home. Hinting at an unconditional love/acceptance for son and grandchild.

Sometimes a post on these forums really grabs my attention, and this is one of those times. As I was reflecting on this situation last night, it occurred to me that one of my partners, Daisy, would likely have a different perspective from my own. So, I asked her to read this thread and share her...

No offense intended but she is going to suffer when she finds out that she had to go see grandpa without mommy all those years because grandpa thinks mommy is a whore. I’m glad you’re feeling at ease now. I can relate to the strangeness of that feeling. For me, what stands out the most in my...

That’s a bummer. As someone who is also close to my father and as a father myself to a daughter, I keep imagining how I would approach this situation. Here’s my take: He’s trying to exert control over your life with the only leverage he has, which is his own home. One might say he’s grasping...

As someone who has been married, terminated a marriage contract while continuing to be in the relationship, co-parented, and shared property investments with multiple partners, I've navigated some unique issues as a kitchen table poly family dealing with asset ownership. When our trio (my two...

I think one caveat is if you purchase property and cohabit with multiple partners. In such an arrangement, a cohabitation agreement is often more effective than relying on marriage law to resolve disputes. One benefit of creating a legal contract with your partners instead of marrying is that...

Marriage can only result in a net loss of personal autonomy. Meaning it cannot enhance personal autonomy and can only diminish it. However, many polyamorous individuals use the primary-secondary model of relationship structure, wherein they financially entangle and share a living space with...

Do “low quality women” exist? If so who are they trying to date? I have observed this with many friends. Men also have fragile egos, which makes it difficult for many of us to make changes. For example, suggesting to a friend that he shave his unruly beard nearly led to an existential crisis...

I think preselection can work in a man's favor, but it needs to be in the right context. For example, if he’s the husband of a well-known poly woman in the community or is dating multiple poly women in the community, it may be an intriguing and attractive quality about him. That’s not the case...

I think a common issue for many men, especially those in long-term, deeply entwined relationships or marriages, is the loss of personal identity as it merges with a shared identity. Over time, the comfort of the relationship might lead to taking attraction for granted. For example, a man who...

Money and marriage is a different topic, and financial considerations are the only exception I would make when it comes to a marriage contract. If someone is supporting a breadwinner's lifestyle, marriage can still be a practical means of achieving some form of financial equality, regardless of...

Perhaps 'deconstructing' traditional male roles is a more accurate way to describe what really needs to happen. I don't think the statement is sexist; rather, I view it as a practical response to existing sexism in society and a strategy that might help a couple navigate the poly lifestyle in...

I believe marriage can serve similar personal and emotional purposes for polyamorous people as it does for monogamous people. Monogamy hasn't always been the norm in marriage. This isn’t an argument for polygamy; rather, it's to highlight that marriage has evolved over generations and is...

It looks like you have some confusion about why your intentions were so immediately clear. Let me break it down for you. Complimenting a friend’s new partner is pretty standard platonic etiquette, and it was aimed at your fiancée, not at you. Saying something like “Well done, he’s a great...

Hierarchy is an ongoing conversation in the poly community. I think people get confused, (as I did myself) because hierarchy is automatically looked at in a negative light. There are some types of poly arrangements that are more suited to having non-hierarchical structures than others. What you...

This is subjective. It comes down to an individual’s perception of importance and sacrifice. Assuming a monogamous arrangement. No. Assuming a polyamorous relationship. Yes. There are a million reasons “people” justify behavior. It depends on the relationship. It depends on the person...

All right. If that's what she prefers, then I'll veer away from my other points. If I were in your shoes, and falling for someone striving to better themselves, I'd want to lend a hand. It doesn't always mean throwing money at the problem. Alternatively, you could try to offer support in smaller...