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This isn't about non-monogamy, as such, but about disinformation, sex-negativity and slut-shaming in high school sex-ed courses. (Somewhere in the conversation on Twitter, someone refers to what happened in the classroom as "terror-based sex education.")...

Vicarious Non-Monogamy I had lunch with Metis, the other day. We still meet and talk once every few weeks, still share some confidences and many common interests. (And, yeah, I still slightly adore her madly.) I was telling her about Vix's latest ventures. She returned just the other day from...

This article might be of interest to folks here in the forum, an interview with philosopher Berit Brogaard on her new book, On Romantic Love: Simple Truths about a Complex Emotion. http://www.newrepublic.com/article/121029/berit-brogaard-romantic-love-interview Of special interest is her claim...

I'll make it easy for you: the thread is here, for whatever it may be worth. It was, for me, one of the more interesting and enlightening exchanges I've had on this board. That is to say, I learned a lot from others' contributions.

With fava beans and a nice chianti?

Happy Boxing Day! It was a very fine Christmas spent quietly at home. For Boxing Day, we're sorting through a bunch of old clothes. So far, there are about eight garbage bags full of things to donate to charity (and/or fabric recycling.) Later on, there'll be dancing!

I can't help but post this here: it might resonate with some of you who are down on the whole forced-merriment thing: http://youtu.be/UqZ1O0YhY5Q (That's the incomparable Miles Davis and the equally incomparable Bob Dorough; people of a certain age will probably recognize Dorough's voice, as...

I can't resist a little of the "forced merriment" . . . though we try not to force it too much. I'm not even a little bit religious but, you know, it's dark and cold out there, so some colored lights, some gift-exchanging, some impossibly rich food, and some music that evokes memories can go a...

I don't think so. I mean, I have no idea where you are or what courses you've been taking, but I'd say the odds are against it. (It would be an interesting exercise in estimation to work out just how many students are taking how many final exams right about now . . .) Also, they're not so...

Well, I'm almost done grading finals. Does that count?

Well, this is more a topic for my long-neglected blog thread, but I think Vix's interest in the article came from another direction. . . or two. First, she was dealing with the the tepid response of a guy who had seem very interested in her at first. The idea of letting go of it, not allowing...

From James Joyce, Ulysses:

I think the "law" works especially well on dating sites, like OKC. If I write to someone who does not reply, that's clearly a "no". If I write to someone who writes back and then, after an exchange of a few notes, she stops writing . . . I should take that as a "no", too, and just let go of it...

It might help to think of it this way: While Manson focuses a lot on saying "[Heck] Yes!" to jumping in the sack together, "The Law of [Heck] Yes or No" applies to any decision about any relationship. You (and the other person) can say "Yes!" to taking a long, sweet time to get to know one...

That's a good use for it. I'd like to send it personally to everyone currently on OKC, and any poly dating site, and . . .

Vix pointed this out to me: http://markmanson.net/fuck-yes/ At the moment, it strikes me as the best new-relationship (or wanna-relationship) advice I've ever come across. It's simple and it saves time. It prevents game-playing and heartbreak and creepiness. Above all, it puts consent right...

Proof! I vote 'no' . . . and here's why: http://youtu.be/ZCL4dXUtblg

I haven't done much further reading on RA, myself - I have too many other things to read! - but, based on what I've seen up to this point, I think it wouldn't be quite right to say honesty is a "basic tenet" or a "core value". It's deeper than that. If RA is about two individuals negotiating...

A Landscape of Privacy As a postscript to my too-long note on privacy - sorry about that - a shorter note on something that occurred to me some time ago. The institution of privacy took a major leap forward with the invention of the tract-house suburb in the United States after WWII. Not only...

Privacy as a Social Institution I'd like to try out an idea about marriage and other institutions, and about the role of society in regulating individual behavior. One assumption that may be at work in current notions of consent is that humans start out as individuals and only later develop...