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Cyrano de Bergerac (the play, and any of the movie versions of it). That way, the title character wouldn't have had to be such a miserable emo loser. I mean, well-spoken and poetic as his nose is long, but still . . . such needless anguish!

Well, my daughters are now seasoned shippers - one is in her teens, the other not yet in her teens, and they seem to have no regard for the indifference of their parents to the trope. My older daughter was fixated for a time on Kirk/Spock, though I reasoned with her - with impeccable logic -...

As easy as it is to laugh and to rage at unicorn hunters, there's something ineffably sad about this image: a garbage dump where certain kinds of poly dreams go to die. <sigh>

Perfect! And, yes, you are in good company in judging disrespect for autonomy to be deplorable. I also agree that each of us is entitled to make such judgments, and that such judgments cannot be dismissed in the name of some easy relativism, i.e., "But I've thought about it for a long time, and...

Further Warming My friendship with Metis seems to be changing since our road trip this past weekend, as we're making more plans to spend time together. We were at a party on Saturday night, the night after our road trip, arriving and leaving separately. She sent me a text saying she wished...

Feelings and Expectations Vix is away in Europe, again. It's her last long trip for a while, and her last trip to Europe before Doc moves back to the States. She'll be away for another two weeks. Meanwhile, I've had the opportunity to spend some time with Metis this weekend. Friday night we...

Well, for the record, that's pretty much what I said, too. ;)

All of this is highly speculative. I suppose any of these questions may become relevant at some point . . . though it may be that none of them will ever be relevant. For my own part, I am approaching my relationship with Metis - and, increasingly, my relationship with Vix - intentionally, with...

I'm really not presupposing anything, at this point. Speaking only for myself, I'm open to all sorts of possibilities to be worked out by mindful and inclusive negotiation, by and by. I don't know exactly what Vix would be up for but, knowing her as well as I do, I suspect unconventional...

Warmth I don't have time to write much today - or, really, ever - but something good has been happening in my friendship with Metis. In June, Vix and the girls went off to Europe for a couple of weeks, using Doc's house as home base. While they were away, I met up with Metis several times for...

can

And I would back away, slowly, and find someone else to talk to . . . not because I disapprove of what they do in the bedroom, but because anyone who would shoehorn the complexity of her or his own self into a one-dimensional label is likely to be fairly tedious. I was once at a gathering in...

Um, no. It's a matter of priorities, or at least one of emphasis. I don't walk up to people at parties and introduce myself as vanilla, or as straight, or as poly, or anything else. If they ask, I'm more likely to talk about what I am and what I do in the wider world, not in the bedroom...

It seems to me typical, though, for people who engage in or identify with practices the broader culture would deem marginal or deviant to invent a derogatory term for that which they reject. I don't know how current it is, but I have heard that some gay men would refer to straight people as...

That said, I have heard of instances in which "vanilla" was used as a term of reproach. When I was involved with Nyx, all her kinky friends were incredulous. "But he's vanilla!" they would protest. "Why would you waste your time on him?" (And I really am very, deeply vanilla. I have no...

I don't see "vanilla" as negative at all, even when applied to ice cream. Have you ever had really, really good vanilla ice cream? It's subtle and sublime. Of course, the flavorless garbage most places serve as "vanilla" ice cream has led people to believe that vanilla is no flavor at all.

Travelin' Blues Another click, as another little bit of understanding falls into place. As I write this, two people I care about - Vix and Metis - are each on the road. Metis is on her way back from a city about 800 miles from here, while Vix is returning to that same city as part of her...

A Friendly Case of NRE I've mainly been lurking on the forum, lately, too busy with stuff out in the real world to spend much time writing here in the unreal one. Really, though, it hasn't seemed to me that there's been much to tell. I'm still working through the same issues with Vix. She's...

This is worth a look: http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/05/09/purity-culture-bad-for-women-worse-for-survivors-of-sexual-assault/

For a number of reasons, I've been thinking about consent, lately. I'd like to pose a question for general discussion. I don't have a particular point of view I want to push, and this doesn't relate to any particular situation in my own life. I'm just curious what people on this forum think...