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Aweseome, awesome post. Makes me smile. I know we've discussed a few things in PM as well and I'm happy to see that you're finding a balance and a poly life that is working and making you happy. And FTR, I don't see this as "defining" anything either. Just as a sort of lightbulb...

No, but thanks for the psycho-babble pseudo analysis. I see this a lot from people on various boards who get annoyed when they can't bully people into seeing their point of view .. they go on the attack, but in a very faux-analytical way as an attempt to impugn the mental health/stability of...

Yeahhh ... I'm trying to figure out what your fi's rush is. :) This is a relationship building, right? You don't show up for a first date with a girl with a ring in your pocket ready to propose under "normal" circumstances. Why would you do it when pursuing a poly relationship? SEems like...

Isn't this interesting. Because when I used almost that EXACT terminology with dakid over the definition of a lover vs. a fuckbuddy, you jumped all over me for expecting people to adhere to my definitions. I specifically said to her "I would call what you described a lover. How do you define...

I have been asked by a few to come explain my statement so here it is. This is exactly the kind of response that is making me want to leave. Someone says they feel that X is happening and instead of saying "hey lets figure this out" the immediate response (and Ceioli, I see this often from...

Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. It made me sick to be catogorized as "sex negative" just because I see a difference between casual sex and committed sex. Neither is wrong, neither is bad, neither is negative ... but they are different animals. Yet because I differentiate...

You know what? Never mind. It's not worth it. Sorry. Moving on. Dakid, I wish you the best.

And where did I say she had to use the same term? What I said was that *I* would consider the relationship she described to be that of a lover. I then asked her to explain what she considers a "lover" if this isn't it. I'm getting really frustrated with you telling me what I can and can't ask...

As I've mentioned, I don't have children, but just the discussions on these boards have led me to realize that I no longer want to self-identify as poly.

If language is not precise, then people cannot communicate - which is exactly what has happened here. I feel that I better understand dakid now that she has explained her definition of "fuckbuddy". Now I am curious about why she does not use the word lover to define that relationship ... and...

Yes. I live in the Baptist, conservative, South. If there is a red state, mine glows with an unholy red light. :) And I'm only partially joking. I don't have children myself, but all of my partners have had children. It would be nice to know that someday people wouldn't automatically...

Well. :) I honestly don't know what to say because the relationship you described is in no way one I'd call a "fuckbuddy". What you described is a loving, intimate relationship that includes sex - with a person I'd consider a lover. his thoughtfulness and attentiveness, his willingness to...

I love it. :)

Exactly. Also because language is useless if everyone gets to make up their own definition. Communication and understanding become impossible when people get to decide that various words mean various things for them and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks it means. If I went to a...

How can you feel love for someone you don't have a friendship with or whom you don't know past the instance of fucking them? If "the only activity" you have with someone is sex, how can you claim you love them? I don't understand that. And again, I'm not trying to be hostile, I'm trying to...

Yes. My being poly is not based on who I'm with. It's based on a discovery I made several years ago that I *can* love more than one person at a time - not as I love my friends, but with a romantic, passionate, sexual love. I broke up with my b/f earlier this summer, but losing him didn't...

And this is why, when you insist on defining things they way YOU want to define them, communication becomes non-existent. You insist on using whatever meaning YOU want to for common phrases that mean something else, and then get angry and defensive when other people don't understand what you...

Okay, of that whole post, this just slapped me in the face. Dakid, perhaps the issue here is that I (and a few others) don't understand your frame of reference, or your terminology (and I referenced this in the other thread, as well). To me, a fuck buddy is someone whom I don't love, whom I...

Aw. That's so wonderful. Happy Anniversary, you two! And hopefully many more to come!

Ok, I am honestly trying to understand your point of view here: Why does it upset you? Also, where in my post did I say "lasting"? Let's make sure that we are discussing the same thing and that you're not misreading or misrepresenting what I've said. I specifically said that my love and I have...