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Dakid, I appreciate your willingness to step back and recognize things in yourself. I will say straight up that I'm not affiliated with the other site mentioned. I've never visited it. I don't know anything about the people involved in the struggle other than what has been posted here. But I...

Now that's a VERY creative way to deal with the situation. I like it a lot.

So you would badmouth a site to others, having never visited it, and knowing nothing of it other than one side of a disagreement that someone has dragged into an unrelated forum? And yet you have said that you "pity" people on this forum who aren't as open-minded as you think they should be, or...

How is it a double standard? You can't just contact your insurance now and say "I'm married - add my spouse." I know when I got married, my husband had to provide a copy of our marriage license before they'd add me. I don't think it's a double standard to require some proof of relationship to...

What's the point of discussing and debating things if not to (in some way and at some level) attempt to influence people to change their way of thinking? Isn't that why we put opinions out there ... to influence in some way those who are reading? Otherwise, why bother? I guess unless it's...

My husband and I were married by a judge. By the state. Neither of us are religious, we don't go to church, we chose to be married in a secular ceremony by a judge. Yet, the piece of paper issued by the state says at the top, very clearly: MARRIAGE LICENSE. Now. If you want to say that...

I'm kind of baffled by this mindset. One doesn't necessarily have to be oppressed to need legal protection and rights.

I don't know if anyone here has read any fiction by J.D. Robb. (Nora Roberts by any other name.) Her series is based around a cop in a futuristic NYC - but not too future. Maybe 75 years from now or so. I mention this because in her world, she has created "cohab" laws. People can marry...

I'm not sure I agree with that. I know any number of really smart people who sometimes make bad decisions about things when they're emotionally driven. And when someone has heard only vague and possibly sketchy information about something, it's possible for them to think in a well-meaning kind...

I'm so sorry. I always find it interesting that people will accept cheating (and will cheat themselves) more readily than they'll accept a loving, respectful relationship structure that is different from their own. My next thought is that anyone who snatches away someone else's phone and...

Yup. When I first brought it up to my husband he had the same impression. I was talking about polyamory with a friend the other day, and he asked me point blank, "How do YOU define it? I don't really understand how everyone defines it differently." At least he asked, I guess.

Yup yup yup. I agree with all of that. If we're going to agree that being poly means including anything and everything sexual, from long-term loving relationships to one-night stands and fuckbuddies, then that's fine, but I will no longer self-identify as poly at that point, because that...

I like this ... a lot. :) Honestly I'd say that yes, for me it is a need. I need other people in my life to be fulfilled and happy. I need affection - both emotional and physical. Will I survive without it? Sure. Will I be happy? No. I don't have a problem saying I need other people. :)

Oh good grief. No, but I do find your continued use of ANALogy to be really childish.

I'm quoting a couple of people here: Doesn't non-monogamous already cover that? That's what my understanding of the definition of polyamory is, to begin with. One I agree with. :) Actually, I do remember that. :) But we got derailed by one or two people getting upset that their fuckbuddy...

Thank you. :) I wasn't even going to go into that, since it seemed to just be misdirecting the whole conversation. I'm glad you put it out there, though.

Then I'm not sure why you mentioned it in your other post. You said: It ended disastrously, but it was, apparently, satisfactory as a "poly" relationship. I'm not sure what "ending disastrously" had to do with whether or not it was satisfactory as a poly relationship. No one has said it has to...

You can eat chicken and insist that you're a vegetarian, but don't expect people who are vegetarians to agree with your definition. :) Why do you think how a relationship ended has anything to do with whether or not it was polyamorous? A marriage might end in an ugly, bitter divorce, but it...

I don't think anyone is being told that they have to define "love" a certain way. But I'll go back to my analogy above: if you tell people you're vegetarian, but you eat fish and chicken, then you're not vegetarian. And you can say "that's how *I* define vegetarian" all you want, but it still...

After nearly 3 years of living hell where I spent more time doing what other people thought I should do (or what I thought other people thought I should do), I've come to the realization that listening to my gut isn't always a bad thing. Yes, I understand that completely. Sometimes I just...