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I think that it is important if you want something long term. mountainboy did have a girlfriend for nearly a year, who refused to see me. We talked a couple of times via email. But she was not ok with meeting me. At first this really bothered me, but then I realised that he cared about her, and...

"I do, however, get very sick of being touched, sick of talking, sick of seeing any one face for too long and need my space after a while. I've been this with way with every single person in my life, no exceptions, regardless of our type of relationship, (romantic, friendship, family member...)...

dont' ask me why, but i have a very deep intuative feeling that we will, i don't believe this is the time for us to break up, we are happy in every other aspect of our lifes and there is a very strong bond that i do believe we can get through this one way or another, even if its not easy...

if i made the promise to only remain friends with M and never more, i think i would be making a promise that i can't keep long term, i was so unhappy for the year i cut M out and i was not a happy nice partner for montianboy, and so i made a choice and i am taking a risk, i believe that...

reading over this post has given me a lot of insight into how other people are living this lifestyle, its really intresting so thankyou :) I don't think that i want to close myself off into a polyfi relationship just now, but that being said at the moment i am establishing my relationship with...

at the moment it is just friendship with M, because i know i have a lot of work to do to be able to build things again in a way that is not hurting anyone, i am also busy establishing a relationship with R, and i think concentrating on one new relationship at a time is prob wise, I want M to...

I've never asked jools to remove him or ignore him, but i did suggest that i would leave if she did see him. this is why i cut him out for a year, because i didn't want you to leave. loving M does not take away any love i have for you, and i do not want to lose you. you never asked me to...

"Is your love for M such that you can't be the person Mountainboy loves without M? i don't believe i can be the person he loves without M, because i am so unhappy i don't believe that montianboy wants me to be unhappy. i agree we all need to talk, and i agree that they need to make peace i...

honeslty it is not all bad, we have a lot of happy times, especially in regards to C and R, who get on well.

this is where i get selfish i am not willing to cut him out again, and not willing to say that i might not see him again because i know that if i give any hope that M can be cut out montianboy will cling onto this hope and focas on that and we will be back to square one, so i say that yes i am...

its not a case of me wanting M more than montianboy, i dont' love him more, but i do love him i can have any other man on the planet that wants me, but i am in love with M, and i tried to cut him out i managed no contact for a year and it drove me mad, i realised that i cant do it, i can't...

god i hope so, becuase this is the hardist thing i have ever done, to see him hurt because of me sometimes im tempted to try and make that sacrifce again so make him happy and then i remember how awful for me so it feels like someone hurts no matter what, :( Jools

"And the new couples were not secure in their trust in one another the way they were in their marriages. " this really made me think, it takes time to build up that kind of trust and security. when i start a new relationship, i have hopes that we will work on that relationship and build it...

hes Montianboy is C, R and M have not joined this forum was tempted to give R the link but think il deal with this first before i get a whole heap of stuff thrown at me from an even diffrent perspective lol thankyou so much for your input it helps me a lot, and i hope it will help mountianboy...

yes that does make sense violet and i agree with you on time issues, "why in FUCK do you need more?! There comes a point where I feel it just gets greedy, lol. I'm not bashing anyone in a quad or anything, " this is actually something my mum said to me about being poly in first place, why do...

wow just wow, you write that out is such a beautiful way, and actually i could have wrote this myself, it seems we have some similar things going on :) i agree with so much, i am a half full person, i don't think i always was but i most def am now, "You talk like our whole relationship has...

i just hope that the entire forum doesn't hate me now! i am feeling ever so slightly unpopular lol but i am actually really glad that montianboy was able to open up in this way when i gave him link to forum i wasn't even sure that he would ever post, :)

"For myself-I don't feel I NEED a closed relationship. But both my men do. " that makes a lot of sense and iv never considered this, i am wondering if one of my partners would feel like this was a better option, but then i would wonder why they needed it to be closed, and there is a part of...

ok wow. did not expect to be seeing this when i logged on tonight, First off, the girl he is talking about is me, 2nd, i am actually really glad that you where able to be honest and get your point accross i know its not easy for you. Ok now my point of view, I made a very big mistake with M...

hello honey i don't think over 2 years of being poly is considered new but im really glad that you decided to join :)