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Wow! Based on your recommendation I've bought this book, and I am part way through it. I really wish I had had this 3 years ago, it really helps. Thanks for mentioning it. And yes, having a relationship with someone with BPD really sucks. Big time. Been there, done that. Never again if I can...

Seems like a good way of seeing it. Sharing insights and advice in the hope that the person receiving it will take it onboard is probably a recipe for frustration. You just never know who is reading, and you never know when something makes sense many years later. "Now I know what she meant...." :)

Sounds like an excellent self-awareness. The problem is, as Dr. Helen Fisher so eloquently puts it, that falling in love is a 'bio-chemically induced state of temporary insanity' that makes it hard to have these sort of rational discussions. Add some societal / cultural pressure to the...

You made some assumptions whilst in the throes of NRE and have discovered that they don't match with reality. Very human. I applaud your willingness to try and sort the situation out, rather than simply throwing in the towel and storming out. I'm wondering, what would it take for you two to sit...

Check. Abandonment was a huge issue. Constantly. Crazy-making incoherence. Fatal Attraction. Really, really, scary. Like some sort of demon took over - it was like nothing I've ever seen. You've nailed it. An incredible woman - and I miss the intense creativity. But the price was too...

That is exactly what happened. I thought I knew what everything was based on. Clear agreements, boundaries, understandings, the works. Then the goal-posts started to be moved, daily, for no apparent reason. I was simply baffled. Finally nothing was left but massive drama and I had to simply...

Sigh. No judgement from my side. Just acknowledging a terrible feeling of helplessness, together with a realisation that there were warning signs I chose to ignore. Love does NOT conquer everything :(

Thanks! I'll survive, but once bitten, twice shy, eh?

So, after four years of hard work it fell apart. Turns out M is not stable and has a history of depression / borderline / god knows what. Since I'm not used to dealing with such things we simply didn't understand what was happening until she completely fell apart. So she's on medication, has...

:)

Welcome to the club. Just learned that one, and it took 4 bloody years. Talk about being a slow learner....

Good to know.

!! Of course not. For instance acknowledging that pollution is widespread doesn't make it OK either. However accepting the reality of something is often the first step in doing something about it. The Chinese have for years tried to deny that there was a problem with their air. It's only...

We're clearly dealing with an issue that triggers a strong reaction in you :) The reality is that cheating is a widespread phenomena. Although polyamory is definitely NOT about cheating, many people start exploring poly as a result of an affair, either as a participant or as a 'victim'. A bit...

In the book, Sam follows the others years later after Rosie passes away and his many children (I forget the exact number right now) have come to adulthood. Sam is allowed to go because he also is a ringbearer. This info is in one of the Appendices. :)

Ah well, a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, no?

Amsterdam :D

http://www.3nder.us The question is, is there a Unicorn Hunter filter function built in? What exactly should the algorithm look like? :)

You are very brave to choose a title like that in a forum like this....:eek:

There are of course traditions (Taoist, Tantric etc. etc.) that see this whole subject in a very different light indeed. They posit that it is possible to generate and exchange sexual energy with another person without even touching them, much less getting naked. Viewed this way the whole...