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My guess is that it's not part our biological make-up. We are built to have sex one-on-one after all (at least when it comes to the procreative aspect). Some commentators believe that multiple one-on-one relationships may in fact be the 'normal' state of affairs for homo sapiens and that...

This is also known as maturity. A rare condition these days :)

Sorry to be blunt, but who told you this? The Tarot? Divine Guidance? The Wicked Witch of the West? Or is it just a 'feeling'? In my experience, this sort of blind belief in 'destiny' (or whatever you call it) can be a real show-stopper when it comes to negotiation and healthy communication. I...

Welcome! Never heard that people in New England are dull and uptight. Maybe that's why it's named after England (just kidding!). Sounds like you're on an interesting journey of discovery.

That's very generous of you :) Who knows what might befall them otherwise? A visit from the Political Correctness police? (This is a joke Natja, relax). Who cares what people call themselves? At the end of the day language is very often an imprecise attempt to communicate what is going on...

If past actions are an indication of future behaviour, no. I'm afraid so. There are a few board members who just wait to pounce on anything that looks like a triad in the making and use it as an opportunity to vent their bitterness. It's a bit sad really. But that's the price one pays for an...

Welcome! If you manage to find that switch I'm sure there are many that will be interested in its location. :) Unfortunately, I believe a fair few us simply don't have one...

Yes, it could be read that way as well. All the more reason to express oneself in an unambiguous fashion unless one intends to leave readers in a state of unclarity.

That makes little sense I fear. "You think she's fabulous and that I am not." is a better construction. :)

We're all human, and love and sex trigger very powerful emotions. It's very hard to keep a cool head when the hormones are raging. As the saying goes, hindsight is 20/20. Cut yourself a bit of slack and try not to be so hard on yourself. The real question is - how to move forward? Ah yes, but...

I'm sorry to hear that. Sounds like a very unpleasant situation. Did you (three) have clear agreements from the beginning? Or did this all just sort of happen? It sounds like your (ex) friend possibly had a different agenda than you and your partner. Did you have any idea this was the case? Do...

That can be quite a shock if he discovered it after falling in love. Did you disclose your relationship arrangement to him before you got involved?

Aye, and to be blunt, pretty damn patronising as well.

Excellent point. There seems to be some sort of tacit understanding here that the 'unicorn' is a poor, unwitting and semi-conscious dimwit that hasn't a clue what she wants or what she is getting suckered into. Either that or she is being conned by unscrupulous unicorn-hunters. I don't buy...

Correct.

Maybe it's time to redefine 'poly' to exclude that category of relationship. Then you can just tell them to piss off since they don't belong here (which is sort of what is happening already in a rather tedious, long-winded sort of fashion).

You know, it is just possible that some people are OK with an 'inherently unfair' setup. Hard to believe I know, especially for people who are dedicated to political correctness, equality etc. etc. But it might just be that such a setup offer something that outweighs all of the disadvantages...

I'm sure you meant knickers :D

And it can happen after 10 days and 2 dates. Took me 3 years to get over one such encounter. The brain / biochemistry thing works in mysterious ways and is very powerful. It's not that easy to simply make it 'go away' through logical reasoning or force of will either. If it was I guess there...

Well said.