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I notice you use the word 'we' a lot. That is, for me, a red flag of warning. What happens when you discover that you have a different relationship to this new person than your partner does? What happens when it is no longer 'we' but instead a complex 4 relationship situation (AB, BC, AB and...

Don't take it personally, BG is very egalitarian when it comes to dispersing his idiosyncratic brand of feedback. He just didn't get the polite and subtle subroutine when they were handing out communication software :D But I've noticed that he generally has valid points, so it might be worth...

Glad to hear you're real :) Welcome, and I'm sure you'll find some fascinating reading here that may give you both some useful subject matter for further discussion.

Force = definitely bad news. Experiment to find out if it might be something for all of you - why not? As long as all the consenting adults are participating willingly then it might be fun. Who knows? She might get turned on watching and you might like being watched. Stranger things have...

Hi Bird, It is possible to make your situation work, if you ALL really do your homework and are all prepared for the possibility that you will ALL have to change. The odds however are probably stacked against you. Many people are not prepared to grow and learn, much less take personal...

Very. Even used for accounting software.

I was metaphorically speaking (with a touch of irony) my friend. Relax.

Funny, that. When people want it, they can't get it, but instead you shoot innocent bystanders. Curious condition, that. :)

There are of course different cultural expectations around politeness and courteousness that have nothing to do with 'fragile feelings'. I do find it fascinating to see how people 'communicate' though. Reminds me of a conversation I had with two people the other day - one Dutch and one English...

Ylva does great work and her book is excellent (I speak Swedish). She also gives courses - contact her directly to find out more. http://www.orgasmeramera.se

You're very lucky to be able to do that! In the generally sex-negative society we live in it's a real gift to be able to have had a positive introduction to intimacy. From my own background in Taoist Sacred Sexuality I would have to say that the OP seems to have her sexuality well and truly...

The fact that you can observe yourself dispassionately bodes well for your chances of creating a successful strategy for this. I have met very few 'whiny and entitled Americans' who have even the remotest clue that that is how they behave. I take my hat off to you!

Hear, hear. Informed, polite and well-reasoned discussion would, at least for some, be far more persuasive than abusive rants any day. It makes you wonder, how on earth do some of the 'petrol dowsers' maintain a relationship with their communication style(s) anyway? :)

Wow! That's not idiotic in all, just the contrary. It totally explains some behaviour that has always baffled me in some people I relate to that do indeed suffer from depression. Thanks for this.

Indeed. Even after 4 years we need to be sensitive in front of our partner's daughter. She accepts what is but does NOT want it rubbed in her face. Especially now that she has turned 12 and is starting to deal with her own growing up issues....

I have no experience with, and have not studied, counselling in monogamous relationships. I do not therefore have sufficient data to form an informed opinion about this subject. So no, I don't realise it. In contrast I have researched polyamorous counselling and I do have a considerable data...

This is very sound advice and something poly counsellors often try to identify early on. Adding a new ingredient to an already bad mix is definitely a recipe for disaster. You'd be surprised how hard it can be to get a couple coming in for counselling to agree to individual sessions. Prying...

By my name.

That was shorthand for 'not wanting to start an off-topic conversation that might occur if I bring other people's posts into my response'. I was trying to stay on topic. Not always an easy task :) Thanks for the request for clarification.

No distress. Just curiosity (and amusement at your responses!). As for relevancy, I would beg to differ. The OP has posted about her problems and I notice that some people seem to be slotting her into a role or model and discounting her because of that. That seems unfortunate and gets in the...