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Well, actually, quite a few people on this board have said that triads rarely work. Most have been referring to existing couples bring a third person into the relationship rather than three single people getting together. I'm happy to pm you the posts if you like as I have no need to bring them...

Ouch. That sounds pretty painful. The word 'seemed' does make me wonder though, had you talked things through in detail or did you make assumptions? It can be hard, especially when NRE kicks in, to ask tough questions. Time does heal, but that is of scant consolation sometimes when you are...

No, I don't believe they have. But what I do see is overly emotional responses to anything that has to do with a situation that might look like a 'triad.' It seems like a lot of people have issues with that particular configuration. I was starting to think it was just a few people on this...

Oh but they do :) http://www.thefreedictionary.com/parapet

You might be smart, you might be shy But that doesn't matter to Boring Guy Stick your head over the parapet And he'll make sure you get some shit :D

Just to be clear - the triad was his idea? She went along with it? That might explain the whole situation since maybe she only agreed to the idea reluctantly and based on a fear of losing him otherwise. Sounds like you need to sit down and find out if she really does want a triad and, if yes...

I wrote: "Of course there are people on this forum that will tell you that some particular configurations will not, or should not work." That is my interpretation of: "Why triads rarely work and why lots of experienced polys think they are a bad, bad idea in general." You clearly interpret...

Before you start making snarky remarks, do your homework. I quote from Natja: "Why triads rarely work, and why lots of experienced polyamorists think they are a bad, bad idea in general." I was simply stating a fact: some people on this board have a negative perception of certain poly...

My partner and I been actively poly for 10 years. Our triad is in its 4th year and working fine. Of course, there are people on this forum that will tell you that some particular configurations will not, or should not work. Our experience (and that of many of our friends) is that polyamory is...

A big hug to you all :)

Probably. :) Here's another way to look at it-- how would you like to be the one that was 'shared'? It's the old 'What's good for the goose is good for the gander' equality issue.

3 years and it's going well for us.

Agreed. Two seems simply to work so much better, since each one has their side of the bed to get out of when nature calls. :p Group cuddles, on the other hand, are splendid, but do benefit from a larger space.

Sounds like you've had some traumatic experiences that have coloured your outlook considerably! I've never met the 'couple wanting a plaything' situation IRL, but then I'm not a unicorn or a unicorn hunter. I can imagine that if one got involved in a situation that by all accounts lends itself...

I'm not sure it is off-topic. Exploring a triad is a big adventure, and there are certainly enough people around that act as doomsayers and harbingers of woe to those who are brave enough to talk about the challenges they are facing. So it might well be of use for the OP to hear that the idea of...

Exactly. We don't actually have any connection to poly groups. We simply concentrate on living life. We've found that the best way to go about things is to simply act as if our relationship choice were normal. When people see that we are happy, not in drama, successful, they tend to focus less...

And in my personal experience, triads can be long-lasting, low drama and a wonderful way to live for all involved. But as do all relationships, they require routine maintenance. It helps if the people involved have some life experience under their belts, however, and are realistic in their...

Is there some sort research/evidence you could supply to provide some background data to this statement?

:)

Ooooh. A yummy Jehovah's Witness. My record is max 60 seconds before they flee. Could it be because I always start with asking them about their sexual preferences? :-) Seriously, anyone who thinks their beliefs are 'right' definitely aren't 'right'. Everything is relative - even the bit about...