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  1. Al99

    Why Do You or Don't You Self Identify As Poly

    It seems that this general discussion is taking place over three current threads on the General Poly Discussion forum - and has generated some really interesting discussion with excellent points being made by a number of different individuals. Some general takeaways that resonated with me...
  2. Al99

    Poly fiction

    Yes, most notably and famously, Stranger in a Strange Land. But he also addressed poly-type marriages in these other novels: The Moon is A Harsh Mistress ("line marriages") Time Enough for Love Friday What many would call "kitchen table" poly is a significant element in all of these novels...
  3. Al99

    I'm a "swinger," but I LOVE my multiple partners

    I really could not disagree more in regard to the nature of this Forum. I have participated in a great number of forums over the last 30 years, ranging from the highly intellectual to the mundane- from esoteric metaphysics to cycling - dating back to the Compuserv SIG's and the Usenet. And my...
  4. Al99

    Have you ever been accused of being "bad at poly"? When/why?

    In addition to his missing the point about the V being a polycule, his argument fails to take into account that either or both of the hinges might have the capacity and ability to engage in multiple, loving, consensual relationships - making them, by definition, polyamorous - as one doesn't not...
  5. Al99

    Have you ever been accused of being "bad at poly"? When/why?

    Seems to me that polygamy could qualify as polyamorous if there is true consent - and I am certain that in some polygamous marriages, true consent does exist, and the polyamory label would apply. Unfortunately, through the ages, and even today, polygamy has often been practiced in an oppressive...
  6. Al99

    Have you ever been accused of being "bad at poly"? When/why?

    Well said - very few polyamorists would argue that a V is not true poly. In fact, I'm trying to figure out how anyone would even draw that conclusion. Obviously the hinge is poly as that the hinge has two lovers - but then somehow we are going to say that the hinges are not poly because they...
  7. Al99

    when is sex, 'sex'?

    I've experienced an interesting variety of responses to breast play in my encounters. I've been with some women who were very sexually stimulated by breast play and could orgasm just from breast play (or breast play alone would take them just to the edge and then the slightest touch of the clit...
  8. Al99

    Have you ever been accused of being "bad at poly"? When/why?

    Obviously "your accusers" are the ones who are confused about the definition and practice of polyamory. :D
  9. Al99

    Newbie here

    Hi David - and welcome to the Forum! We have a good number of experienced poly folks here so please do not hesitate to join in the conversation with any questions and thoughts that you may have. While the FMF triad is generally what the public considers to be poly, this configuration is...
  10. Al99

    I'm a "swinger," but I LOVE my multiple partners

    Interesting that you should ask that. I actually have never established a blog here, although I have posted about some key events - but, in light of these changes, it did occur to me that this would be a good time to do so. It will probably have to wait until after Spring Break, though -...
  11. Al99

    I'm a "swinger," but I LOVE my multiple partners

    Nice post, Mags - and I am on the same page in my understanding. I often think of the primary characteristics of swinging as being "couple-centric" and "recreational sex oriented". However, as I have read many times here and in poly literature as well - a "swinger relationship" can evolve...
  12. Al99

    Here in Maine and Glad to Have Found This Forum!!

    Hi - and welcome to the Forum! We have a good number of experienced poly folks here so please do not hesitate to join in the conversation with any questions and thoughts that you may have. Our Forum guidelines indicate that each person should have their own account, as polyamory (unlike...
  13. Al99

    New Here

    Jane makes an excellent point here - and it is a fairly common theme. Spouse A wants poly because they want multiple lovers for themselves (perhaps they have someone lined up already) - but then can't handle it when their spouse also develops another relationship. Sometimes it even seems that...
  14. Al99

    definitions of polyamory

    Yes, but the ability aspect is probably implicit in the definition without having to state it specifically? Just my initial reaction - but would have to think about it. But certainly many people who believe that they are poly undoubtedly find that they cannot really manage the ethical aspects...
  15. Al99

    New Here

    Hi LoveBeliever - and welcome to the Forum! We will look forward to hearing how your story unfolds. We do have a number of experienced poly folks here who are generally helpful and friendly, so please don't hesitate to join the conversation with any thoughts and questions that you might have...
  16. Al99

    definitions of polyamory

    Really excellent post, Kevin. However, I would differ somewhat here. I suspect that - based on my personal research (including notably, "Sex at Dawn, but a lot of other sources as well) and observation, that virtually everyone has this capacity - or at the very least, the capacity to be...
  17. Al99

    How do I even start to explain??

    Hi Journey - and welcome back! Looking at the dates, it seems I joined shortly after you went on hiatus. You've had some good replies already. I would just add - as I've written about a few times now in other threads - that attraction to "more than one" is simply the natural human condition...
  18. Al99

    definitions of polyamory

    Wishfuldreamer wrote: (Italics, bolding, and ellipses are mine) And Kevin wrote: I think Wishfuldreamer very succinctly makes the point - that virtually everyone can be attracted sexually or romantically to more than one person at a given time. I would go so far as to say that this is the...
  19. Al99

    Happy ILIC Day!

    My LDR partner posted this today (Valentines Day, 2020) on her Facebook Page. Although she confessed that she "borrowed" it from one of her local patners :) I found it wonderfully written and thought I would pass it on here. Happy ILIC Day, Poly Community! -------------------- Happy...
  20. Al99

    My introduction: not a nice story

    Hi, TXretired - and a belated welcome to the forum! I just re-read your introductory post as well as this comment. Magdlyn made a good point in her last reply on your introductory thread - in that there are certain aspects that make a relationship "poly" and not some other form of consensual...
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