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Everyone keeps saying communication communication communication. We do communicate. The issue is that we need to have the type of communication that is inviting and resolution-based. We have communication. We just need to find the right kind that works for everyone.

I'd look at some local poly groups. I think Yahoo has some. I'm on the SAC poly group, so I'm sure that you could find someone there.

Second Start http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2139 New Love and Passiveness http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4112

This was all just in your head. I've found that some of the interactions I've had with women that are not my wife can be both downers and uppers. Feeling uncomfortable or some subconscious guilt may be the issue here. I had a friend that would have sex with other women, and could not keep it up...

Yes, I am the husband. See "Second Start." Nikki just joined yesterday. She should be posting on here soon. SlikkNikk is her tag. I would have to agree here. I know lots of the relationships that both Wifey and SlikkNikk have been in, they have been more sub than dom. I think a man and a...

I will agree that Wifey has stepped up to the plate, but she steps out if she doesn't get her desired pitch. For example, Wifey wants to spend more time with our girlfriend. She will step up and say, "Girlfriend, I'd like to spend more time with you." Then she waits for Girlfriend to set up...

Oh, that's awesome! Ask her to help you find something. As you walk to that thing, just have some chit chat. Thank her for helping you. Then ask her what she does when she isn't there. So on and so forth. Say, "If you'd like to do X, I'd like to... blah blah blah... Don't answer now... Since I...

Ok now I follow....This sounds like someone laid down the perfect chess set up for you to make your move...you just have to wait to see how it develops...sounds very promising!!! Yay

Calm down, start breathing... Here is what you do. Buy something you would be interested in that she may like, as well. Before you buy it, simply ask her what she thinks about it. What kind of retail store is it?

I dont follow?

Well we can not predict how we will feel...I find joy in bringing wifey joy even if that does not include me I smile and feel warm when I see wifey and nikki interact...Wifey for sure does not share that same feeling...Nikki is understanding the idea of compresion and it seems like she has...

This is profound. Wifey and Nikki have been together for close to a year. We have all been at this for years with each other.

Welcome. I hope you get the advice you seek.

This is a great way to put it...I'd like to spin that a different way...if you find another comic/coin that is just as rare and special that does not demish the value of there one you previously had...right?

Hi Justbeloving, Welcome back...I would urge you to ask your husband to really consider being poly as a unit. I'd suggest you give him some time to get over the initial shock. It seems to me that your husband his trying to give you the option to choose him or hes walking..again this is his...

Thanks I PM Vodka about that...

This is a bit of an exaggeration. "Sure, I like to spend a lot of time with my wife and girlfriend." But in reality, I work, and run a side business, and I have lots of friends. So I build up a healthy amount of "miss" throughout the day. This is where I get my "retreat" or "space," in my office...

Thanks. Both of you know what I have gone through to get it there, but it's still a work in progress.

I've never been one to care about statistics. So I agree that pace is determined by those who set it. Of course, you don't want to go in blind though, without any thought. eklctc said its' trial and error. This is one of the larger of the trials but not impossible to mount. Do not be discouraged...

My Poly councilor ROCKS!!! She gets right to the nitty gritty…She just has a way of reading body language and asking probing questions like I do and I love it. She can identify the “real” issues when people can’t quite put a finger on it. Some of the "normal" councilors will try to push there...