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I find this very interesting. I look at needing space from my partners as a problem: I'd have to ask myself why I needed spaces from someone that I love and want to spend every waking moment with? Side note: I think a lot of space is given naturally for us. We all work. We have kids and friends...

Nikki just moved from her initial move-out place (a room in an apt she rented) to her own house, that she will share with one other person. She is looking forward to have something that is hers, which I understand. She has been living with people for 3+ years, out of obligation, not choice. When...

I think that it depends on the circumstances. Wifey and I were having sexual interactions with women some time after our NRE came to a plateau. I was enjoying myself. One of our friends with benefits was at our house and I asked her, just hypothetically, if her family or spiritual beliefs would...

Awesomeness! I find myself doing the same thing at work....blah blah blah my girlfriend...something something "wait...aren't you married?" Wifey...(I refer to my wife as wifey at work) and I are polyamorious! What is that? We have a girlfriend together... and on from there. There are a...

I can get behind Redpepper on this one-- no reason to dwell. Reevaluate things and come up with new boundaries. Ask yourself if realistically you could comply with some of these rules. What happens in the heat of the moment? Pause. "Let's pick this up when X gets back." That can feel somewhat...

Before I start, let me just say that the first few post on this topic have drawn up a lot of comments for me. I apologize if this has already been discussed. Please be nice. I have thought long and hard about cohabitation. First a little background... Nikki, my and Wifey's girlfriend, moved in...

My Poly counselor ROCKS!!! She got right to the nitty gritty. She just has a way of reading body language, and asking probing questions, like I do, and I love it. She can identify the “real” issues when people can’t quite put a finger on it. So, Wifey informed Nikki a month or so ago that she...

Thank you for the hug, glowinthedarkstars. Thank you all for your advice. We will be with our poly counselor tonight. She is awesome. I really depend on her to sort out things for us, as she has in the past. I agree that the probability of equal levels of feelings in a triad is not very likely...

I apologize for not clarifying. It wasn't that she didn't want Nikki and me to get it on, she wanted to reach a level of connection with Nikki that was similar to mine. We are all together now. Wifey is very open when her comfort level with my interactions with Nikki. Nikki and I are content...

Hello all..... Since I last posted to "Second Start" things were not looking so good for our triad. We have gotten past a lot with counseling and good communication thus far. We have a new issue that I'm seeking some guidance on. My Wife has fallen in love with our girlfriend Nikki. Great...

New approach I have decided to have a new approach to our pending triad. When you meet someone you don't just jump to just being together. Instead, you date and things go from there. The way I have been approaching things now has been when they are ready, then it will just be. I'm going to ask...

No sure I see a problem...

I could see walking in a park or going to a coffee shop to chat. I'm a fan of simple so if you go in the evening/day or morning you could walk a bridge most of the bridges I am around in Northern CA have Vista points where you can sit and chat before walking or sit and talk after...

I second this. My wife's girlfriend just admitted that she gets jealous when my wife and I are intimate, not only because that is her girlfriend, but also because she has feelings for me too, but can't be with me at the moment. But I also see my wife being jealous because Nikki (her girlfriend)...

keep it simple. Dinner and a movie. You and your husband can sit on either side of her in the movie and at dinner your husband can put a chair at the end of a booth and there or you and him sit on one side and she on the other. I prefer movie before dinner so at dinner you have something common...

Had the conversation last night. The response I received was the same I received when they were just dating, which was Wifey saying she isn't ready, and my involvement would halt her progress with Nikki, and that she doesn't know how she would feel about seeing Nikki and me on the same level as...

I'm getting tired of waiting!! It's been 5 months.

"Trial basis"? "Written agreement" these terms stand out to me because it sounds like your are choosing to be poly like you can choose to be gay or straight. Poly isnt something you jump in and out of. It's ture that some who are poly are confused and need guidance the same as the 16 yr old...

Well, I spoke of making it a triad prematurely, and was told that they were not ready. However, I feel like since circumstances have changed, that I should ask. "I've seen some significant changes in the relationship between you two and wondered if now would be a good time to discuss being a...

My initial thoughts are that you should discuss how you feel with your partner first. Communication is key! Don't be afraid to express how you feel because you are going to feel the way you feel and I'm sure if you have been with your partner for 9 years he would want to hear your thoughts. Ask...