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I wish I knew then what I know now. I didn't think it would be this difficult. But after weighing this fact: "My wife, whom I love, is involved with Nikki, whom I love, and I'm not able to share in those moments"-- yeah, what was I thinking? On another note, I think they have both come to the...

I have brought this up before with just Wifey. She took it as I was trying to rush them. She accused me of being unable to deal with them being involved without me, when in reality I was just stating that I thought that, because they are both very passive, and I am "thoughtfully aggressive,"...

http://www.polyamorysociety.org/band.html Here is a link to a commitment bracelet but I was wandering if anyone had other suggestions on commitment trinkets. The link listed above is a good concept but its a little over the top for my liking as it involves kids and over time it will become...

I committed. I said I was okay with them dating without me. I agreed to letting them work on building their relationship without my involvement, physically and emotionally. Now I have to be coy about my feelings, not shine a light on my longing to be involved. I told them I could handle it for...

I understand where you are coming from. I appreciate your suggestions. My problem is that if I get up and leave the room or go somewhere else that will then prompt questions, such as why I'm leaving. And in the essence of being honest, I would tell them, thus making me go back on my word and...

Help! Wifey and Nikki are cuddled up on the sofa, while I am sitting in my Laz-E-Boy. I'm losing it, people. I know I said I was cool with them dating without me. But I want in soooooo bad! I wanna cuddle. I want to hug and kiss them. I have to sit here and watch them do all this right in front...

I agree that comparisons can be beneficial if you use them with a positive spin, but it sounds like you are letting it hurt your confidence. If you become inspired, then that's great, but if comparison puts you down or makes you feel inferior, then you need to stop. I apologize if others have...

Fortunately, Wifey and I took time away from any outside relationships to work on us, which I think we had great success with. Nikki was caught in the crossfire of the larger issue. She was put in the direct line of fire when she and I got sexually involved the night after Wifey moved out. Wifey...

Hey there hi there hello there saudade, My wife and I were married in a non-poly relationship before we meet our sweet sweet Nikki. But had we known then what we know now, what you are doing sounds exactly the way we would handle it. My wife and I have talked about how we can give Nikki a...

Update Hello, all. Thank you for your input, thus far. As you know, my wife and Nikki are dating, or together, or whatever you wanna call it at this point... :confused: Nikki recently moved in with us because her living situation imploded, not because it was a "lets move in together" step...

Hello, I think your parents will come around. They have to, because you are their child, and they have to love you. I would say give them some time. My parents did not approve of my relationship either, but I cut them off because I wasn't going to let them take away from my happiness... And you...

Laughing out loud I must have missed you intent.... I thought you was talking about football...:D

1+ on what Mono said. It sounds like you need sit down and decide what you want. When it comes to things like this, you have to have definitive and solid ground to stand on. This will make it easier for you and your partners to see those lines and decide if they can deal or not. Nothing sucks...

I see where you are coming from. I would take things a little slower. In your analogy you went from playing catch to playing a game. You could simply start by playin catch at the field and then people would join in with you and your partners over time with permission from the both of you of...

I totally agree. I feel like if I wasnt already married having a ceremony that was special to us is how I would do things. Once we get to that stage in our relationship we will have a ceremony and it will be exactly as redpepper described except my wife and I would be giving ourselves to our...

Well, it seems as though they have connected in that way. But since this is my wife's first "feelings" relationship with a woman, she doesn't know when is when. Since Nikki has already been in a girl/girl relationship, she is just moving at the pace of the slowest common denominator (i.e., my...

+1 on what Sunnydee said. Also providing comfort in her time of need is great but it may be difficult due to you not being a bias shoulder. Maybe your wife can spend some "friend" time with her. in the end this will show her you respect her hard times with her husband but also care for her...

WOW. I totally get that. I feel so much better after reading that. Thanks. You are quite wise.

My concern is that all of the separate relationships could create an issue in making it to the "goal" of being in one relationship with the three of us. I feel like we should be doing it all together. Even though I am okay with the status quo, it just feels like there will be problems with...

Be honest tell her how you feel. You can't base talking to her off of what you think she will say you must be true to yourself and let her make the choice to say or go...meet your needs or decide that she cant. either way you can't live unhappy there are too man people on this plant