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Lol... there's no prescribed rule about who brings up the kids, especially since there are so many possible poly arrangements! For instance, I'm married and live with my husband, and I have a casual other boyfriend. He doesn't live with us and won't be expected to bring up our children...

You don't need to force things with Heath just because it's clear your spouses are falling in love. Your husband just needs to be a bit more honest with you about how things are going with his new girlfriend, and needs to keep paying enough attention to you so that you still feel important. He...

I have to say that herpes isn't something I'd expect someone to disclose on their dating profiles. I'd expect someone to disclose it before we became sexually intimate, however.

Um, that's definitely not what I mean when I say cold sores are "no big deal". "No big deal" means the exact opposite of that. I can see now that you're talking about how genital herpes has more of a stigma than oral herpes, and that's probably true. Just like I pointed out that chicken pox has...

I think what people mean when they say that is a) you won't die, and b) you're not a bad person because you have the virus. I forgot to add that other good ways of strengthening your immune system include proper diet, exercise, and rest.

Oh, also, I'm not sure whether you are a man or a woman. If you are a woman, and are pregnant and have an outbreak around the time of delivery, they will do a C-section to avoid passing the virus to the baby. Also, most people have had at least some kind of herpes in their lives--chicken pox is...

HSV-2 is not that big a deal. Something like 1 in 8 men and 1 in 4 women have it already. It is likely that a good many potential sexual partners you meet already have it. It's not too much of an inconvenience, I've heard, after the first few outbreaks (which can be severe). There are...

Depends on which god.

Hugs to you, Carma. I honestly don't know what to advise in your situation--it's all way over my head. Sundance exhibits really bizarre lying behaviour. Saying he wasn't going to stay over night, but then packing his stuff to stay over night? It's just... weird. What do you do with that?

Lol, dingedheart! You're so funny! I don't have a say in when my child will be born. I can't "go" early... labour just starts when labour starts, and, even if I could decide what day to go into labour, I certainly wouldn't risk my child's health by having him be several weeks premature just so...

Oh, you're right. I try so hard to make the whole thing seem casual and no big deal.

Yeah, I'm going to ask him when he gets back from his business trip in a few days. I'll ask him what his holiday plans are, and then say, hey, if you're still in town when I have my baby, will you visit me in the hospital?

I know, right? Pretty exciting!!

I'm about 7 months pregnant now, so I can't answer all your questions, but I can keep you updated! I have a wonderful husband and another guy I'm seeing, Sven, with whom I have a relationship best described as a warm friends-with-benefits arrangement. I have maintained sexual and emotional...

It doesn't mean that. But people aren't interchangeable. We fall in love with specific people. Our OP was or is in love with the BFF; he doesn't want just any woman, he wants her. OP, I also think that you should ask your wife to reconsider.

Things have to be fair to her, too. You stay over at her house until dinnertime, and you want her not to go out with another guy after you've gone. But where do you go after you leave her house? Home to your primary, right? So, you're allowed to see another person that day, but she's not?

Woah! Well, not even the baby knows what it's crying about that first week! Ouch. This man is not planning to stay with you. Why should you go through the trouble of negotiating a poly relationship with him if he's made it clear he's just looking for something "better"? (Easier, really.)...

I'm so sorry this happened to you! You were just starting out with Noah, and you hadn't tried poly yet when you got pregnant. I'm pregnant now too. I know what it's like. It's so tiring. And you were going through a divorce. You don't feel supported by Noah in any of this. So first, big hugs...

You're right. Hiding really sucks. I will amend my statement: OP, if you're willing to put up with the inevitable heartbreak, go for it.

It looks like he's staying for the kids, because he wants to continue to co-parent with this woman. Except for co-parenting and finances, he is not married to her in any real sense (or at least that's what he's telling you). I say go for it. Don't get caught. It's not poly. But that doesn't...