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I wondered this too, and was going to comment about it on Podunk's thread. Whose idea was it for you to write to all your new commune friends to tell them you were a horrible person because you didn't tell your husband you gave Paul a blow-job? I hope I'm not being too frank here... why would...

In Veganchick's defense, Podunk, you did come in here only a few short days ago saying that your marriage was completely over and that you were going to leave. It took you a few days to come around to the idea of trying to reconcile. It looks like Veganchick is now where you were a few days ago...

Welcome, Veganchick!

It is a concern that he seems to be pretty irresponsible with money and then lies to cover it up. Your finances are tied together legally, and you have children, so this is very risky behaviour on his part.

You're right, NYCindie. I didn't mean to assume to know where Veganchick is at. It does sound like Podunk would like a little more empathy from her. But she could be getting there... or not! I don't know.

Woah, woah. We don't know anything about this Paul fellow. Let's not smear him based on no evidence. For all we know, Paul was very respectful of Veganchick. If Veganchick enthusiastically consented to the sex acts they shared together, then there's nothing wrong with him going ahead with...

I'm from the T-dot but I don't live there anymore! Good luck with your study.

Advice: some people can't handle the stress of a poly relationship. (Mono relationships have their own stressors, too, of course, but we're not talking about that right now.) Your girlfriend has told you very clearly that she just can't handle being with you in a poly context. It looks like she...

You're lovely. Obviously Podunk needs to hear the whole story from his wife. But once he does get the truth--and I assume he will, or this whole point is moot--how do you go through the process of forgiving the other person and working through broken trust? That's where the sympathy comes in.

Dinged Heart, I'm not trying to excuse her behaviour. Podunk is struggling to understand why she would have lied like this, and I'm just offering him a few possible keys to understanding. If they are still trying to work this out (and it seems like they might be) each partner will have to dig...

Okay. Whenever a big, relationship-breaking problem rears its ugly head, you have to go through a process together to see if you can work things out or if it's not going to be possible to stay together. While you're going through that process, it can be helpful for both partners to try to find...

You haven't told them about your arrangement with your husband, so as far as they know, you're cheating on him, right? Maybe it's the same for them! Maybe their wives really do approve and they haven't told you, like you haven't told them. Time for a chat.

You're making a good number of assumptions about how your husband and how his girlfriend feels. He hasn't told you any of this, you're just sort of getting the feeling he feels this way. It's true he's not telling you anything, but you've also asked him not to tell you anything. I'm a bit confused.

So glad some people mentioned "The Kids Are Alright"! I just hated, hated, how they shut that poor man out of their family like that in the end. I thought that the scene between him and Julianne Moore was just so sweet. The way she looks at him like that and says that she can see her kids in...

I would hope that we are, at least in part, in any relationship for funsies. And yes, of course I see a similarity between a hardcore gamer and a career artist. I am an artist, and I just compared gaming to my own violin playing just a few posts back. Obviously, not everything is the same, but...

You keep saying "just a game" and I've never said that. I think we are just using the term "game" differently, that's all.

No, I wouldn't call an old-fashioned couple game players. They legitimately thought that the woman was inferior in intellect and ability to the man. I would call that misogyny. My impression of modern D/s couples is that they don't think one partner is inferior than the other. They take on...

I never said it was abuse. In fact, I was trying to express the opposite: that both partners do it because they find doing it is fun. I'm aware that our fun pursuits, if worth doing, aren't fun all the time. I am a professional musician now, but of couse all through my childhood and teenage...

I wasn't defensive, I swear.

Hey, those are legit things for a 20-year-old to say. We can only be the age we are.