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This is what I suspect, yes. Tinyblu, I think your boyfriend is explaining poly wrong to you. It doesn't mean what he says it means. It doesn't mean that he gets to cheat on you and then not even bother to go to the trouble of hiding it. (Disclaimer: there's nothing wrong with polyfuckery if...

Fish, I think your fears are legitimate and common fears. I guess my only suggestion is to keep reading posts and articles about polyamory, talking ideas over with your boyfriend (tell him that he has to give you a month or two to think about this--he just sprung it on you all sudden-like!) and...

Tinyblu, you always refer to your boyfriend's potential other partners as "toys". Do you understand that if he's really poly, he might be pursuing real relationships with other women--like, serious ones? Poly people don't just have "escapades" with outside partners. I hope this has been...

Baron, thanks for posting. Quite a few things you wrote made me pause and think, and I think I'll just point them out for you and maybe you can think about them, too. I pick apart what you say quite a bit, so before you read it, I want you to know a few things. I have been in a position in my...

So you're considering cozying up to a rich guy you're not attracted to because you think he might pay for some kids? Hmmm...

My husband and I are atheists.

Hi Raspberry Surprise-- I'm sorry you are suffering from poor health. That really sucks, and I think your husband might be accidentally putting too much pressure on you--I'll get to that in a minute. Interestingly, both my sister and I have been diagnosed with PCOS, and we always thought that...

Hippiechic, River wasn't being mean. I can't read anything dismissive in River's post. Since it seemed to bother you so much, that can tell you something. Reread the post again and see what sentence bothers you the most. That will give you a clue about a sore spot you didn't even know you had...

Long distance relationships suck. It's easy to fall out of love with a partner who isn't around, and into love with people who are closer. That can happen whether you've decided to be open or not. I'm not sure if there is an answer to your question to whether some people are wired for poly or...

I find this joke vaguely disturbing because I seem to recall he was the one who called it off. He didn't want to change the way he was relating to his girlfriend, and said that he wanted to continue the way things were (where you girls didn't meet and he could tell her lies about you) or end...

Take heart, Carma. Your life is not that fucked up. Emotions can be a bit messy, that's all, but you're not fucked up for having emotions. It's not logistically easy to juggle husbands and wives and boyfriends and girlfriends and kids and life and jobs. It was all getting to be too much, right...

+1

Yes, and, to return to the topic of the thread, most of us do watch porn and we're not *in love* with the porn. It's just something fun we do. I think it's cool to have a mix, and you can call it whatever you want.

I like that way of putting it, Annabel.

Of course it's about love. But, you know, I can really love salmon, but it doesn't mean I should only eat salmon. I can also eat some potatoes here and there, even though I only like potatoes, if I want to, without being a bad person. Also, love can be sort of fluid. If you grow to love someone...

Sorry to hear that, Carma. Let us know how things go with Sundance.

NeonKaos, basically you are a huge slut and should be immediately kicked out of the poly club for not being deeply in love while having sex at all times. Because poly is about love. Having sex for fun or because it was hot makes you a horrible, immoral person, worthy of all of our scorn. Please...

Well, which is it? Are a woman's feelings about having biological children "totally accepted" or do "people say she has an ego issue"? We are still a little dependent. For some women, nothing technology can do can render them able to carry a child. For all men, technology can also do nothing...

Because sex without love is immoral? Really? Sounds like slut-shaming to me.

But now we're talking about artistic considerations, and I really don't think we should attach moral judgements to something that's really a matter of taste. Like, two string quartets performing Beethoven's Op. 18 No. 1. The first string quartet just got together this year and are still...