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Yes, first child! I'm pretty excited! And yes, I realize that the birth of this kid might be an ending date for any further action for awhile with the outside partner. That's okay. Maybe it'll end forever, or maybe it won't: maybe Sven and I will be in and out of each other's lives for while...

I know that nauseous jealous feeling. Sorry you are feeling it. It sucks. Dude, your husband is not being considerate. Does he want to leave you for this new woman?! Would it kill him to call and say, "Oh, hi, honey, I'm actually stopping off to see whatsername on my way home. Call you when I'm...

Okay first: I don't have any advice for you. I have no idea what to do in my own life, let alone in yours! But I can tell you two things: It seems a bit unfair to me if she's rubbing all this exciting sexual stuff she's doing with another guy in your face when she doesn't seem to want to do it...

If you're easy, I'm easy too. We're just a couple of easy broads.

Dingedheart, I'm sorry that you were unhappy in your marriage and felt neglected by your wife. But I think you are projecting your experiences into my point, and they don't belong there. The kind of interactions you describe are NOT what I consider "natural/normal shifts in attention or...

Annabel, I am finding your posts about Ziggy to be slightly freaky and also illuminating. :) I think, having been reminded of the "bad" aspects of being with Sven, I can calm the hell down for a few days and be grateful he's my piece on the side. I talked to my husband tonight at dinner...

OMG it's like Sven and Ziggy are THE SAME PERSON. I would complain to my husband that Sven was "all talk and no action" because he'd get in these moods and write what he wanted to do to me on gchat. Next time I'd see him, he'd be surprised that I thought he'd... do that stuff. Or he'd get really...

Gosh, thanks for all the advice! I really appreciate it, and it's actually been nice to just talk about this to someone. It has to be this big secret to my friends, etc. You got me! I have been thinking about this stuff waaay too much lately! And I'm a freelancer, so... free time is my curse...

Yes, well, it's definitely easier to talk to my husband than to talk to Sven. The communication lines with Thaddeus (that's my husband's fake name. I should try using it) have been open and well-used, so I'm less afraid about that conversation. Anyway, Thaddeus sort of knows already, because...

I object a great deal to that word "force". Nobody is talking about forcing themselves to have sex with their partners! That sounds pretty harsh. I have to force myself to do chores I hate, like cleaning the toilet or something. I don't have to force myself to have sex! We're just talking...

I'm involved with a guy outside my marriage, and I text and call him whenever I feel like it, whether my husband's around or not. We don't really have a time when it's "okay" for other partners to call. So I think it sort of depends on the couple's specific rules, and this guy is the best person...

DH, I wasn't around when you were asking those questions before, but I don't understand the problem. Nobody is talking about completely and totally losing interest in an older partner, or wanting to leave the older partner--we're just talking about what it feels like to juggle new sexual desire...

Pictures on Facebook of them having fun on their trip ooooooooooooh god

Well, how disappointed was he? He didn't say anything about it, did he? He just seemed disappointed? That tells me he didn't expect so much as hope for a kiss, and was just sad he didn't get one. I don't see disrespect for your boundaries here, unless you felt some kind of pressure mixed in...

Fantasies aren't right or wrong... people think of all sorts of things during sex. That's the beauty of our brains! But no, it's not good etiquette to tell your parter you were thinking of someone else, unless you think that might turn them on too. ;)

Thanks, Carma! 6 children--wow, that's a good number! Congrats! You're right. I can't wait to meet the baby and have us get to know each other. I have to focus on how important it'll be to me. Probably this other stuff won't be important anymore. Looking forward to the lactating too...

Dunno if that's the best course of action, but that's what I'm doing! I've also been with my husband for 8 years, and I have a sort of way of thinking of this. Sex is still actually objectively better with my husband, once it gets going. We know each other's spots. He can get me off more...

It's all fair if both of you are chill with it. But are you going to resent her because she can see other people while you can't? Or will you hold it over her head as a "gift" you gave her, when really, it's just a mutual arrangement you made? Make sure you're careful about doing this, because...

Carma, thank you so much for this post! I feel very similar feelings about Sven and how reserved we are with each other. Sven has had a lot of girlfriends and a lot of breakups in his life, and I think in general is just slower to say the romantic things--even if I were in a "real" relationship...

Also, for me, the issue isn't BDSM (cops and robbers with your pants off) or depression (makes things harder to deal with, but so many of us have been there and lived our lives anyway). I guess the actual problem is the very real distress our OP had in her tone about the possibility of adding a...