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hello! Hello Coconuts123, I'm Jim. Its nice to have you join us here on the forum. Tons and tons of resources, info, and good people here. Welcome! :)

Hi, TaraDelFuego. :) I'm Jim. "Never" is a strong word. Exercising honesty is like exercising a muscle. At first, it's hard, heavy, and adjoining parts of you will be sore. If you teach your body and mind how to do it and remain consistent, though, it does get easier. It's one of those things...

Hi Leelee, I can't say in absolute terms that all guys get feelings of NRE, but I can very much attest to the fact that at least some or maybe even many do. I will however admit that I ( a guy ) am quite prone to be affected by the ever wonderful and tricky NRE bug. :)

Hi Rix, I'm Jim. He may be struggling (unknowingly) with some backward feelings of guilt over having another partner. I'm not saying he feels that it's wrong, and from what you've written here it appears you are ok (supportive even) with the other partner. If previously he has always been mono...

In no way am I saying you shouldn't have or shouldn't have the right to emotions. I'm saying be careful about closing one side of them off (pain) because the very costly equal and opposite side (love) ends up getting squelched in the process.

LOL. I can't wait to get my ass jumped for what I'm about to say. Remember as you read this, that I can't think of anyone on this forum that I don't like. I'm not attacking people. I'm attacking recklessly tossed words. It infuriates me to no end when I hear people say things to the effect of...

Hi, First of all, you're not an idiot. You wanted to pursue him. You went with your idea. That's an achievement. The not-working-out part? Psssh! Those happen. You wouldn't have had any way of knowing without giving it a try, and you did. Be proud of that. Maybe he thought he could do poly...

Red flags EVERYWHERE!!! Does SHE know it was your toy? Does SHE know it was sent to her (used) without consent of it's owner (You?) His involvement is pretty clear. He stole, lied, hid, fringed on cheating...thats one set of issues. Her scope of involvement isn't crystal clear (obviously...

Leelee.... there are 6 or more examples in the above edited quote of you taking action, standing up for yourself and your kids, and turning a HUGE corner in your life. Do keep up that good work! This thread has become one of my favorites to follow because not only have you absorbed advice and...

This is pretty profound. The best ideas are the simplest ones. I see figurative light bulbs illuminating and merry-go-round passengers deboarding.

Couldn't agree more. Very nicely stated :)

CWC! Wow! Awesome story. :) Congratulations to all of you. Thanks so much for sharing such a sweet post. It really made my/our night!

do NOT change a fucking thing... Nance and I are damn close to getting "BoringGuy" tshirts and coffee mugs :)

Hello, belleamore. I'm Jim. I had a relationship dissolve recently for a fundamental difference in viewpoint on the poly dynamic. The circumstances were not the same, and I certainly don't intend to hijack your thread. The feelings are pretty close, though. It's terribly painful to part ways...

Hi MoonElf, I am Jim. I do feel for both of you. I think you expressed a whole bunch of support and love in this post. If nothing else, i think exactly what you wrote is a really good place to start. :) Best of luck and I look forward to reading updates and helping when and if I am able.

hello! Hello, Sortingthrough. I'm Jim. Welcome to the forum. :)

Hi Lee, I'm Jim. Welcome to the forum. Poly is not intended to be a lifestyle that makes someone feel bad about themselves or their relationship, in my view. My sympathies go out to you for feeling the way you do. "Secondary" can be a misleading, and often misused term, I think. Some folks will...

Hi Mike! I'm Jim. Welcome to the forum. My advice is read read read everything you both can, and take the time to discuss what you read. Take things slowly and avoid setting expectations. Remember that everyone who is involved or potentially involved has values and feelings, and set an...

hello! Hi Inyourendo, I'm jim. It's nice to hear youre feeling your old poly self and things are looking positive. :) Welcome!

For me, sex is far less rewarding when I don't have a deep emotional connection. with my partner. There have been no lack of offers, for either of us, but I'm about 98% sure it isn't something I'd enjoy.