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If the home is that broken already, obviously the kids aren't going to be much worse off, if any, about Daddy getting a nicer girlfriend. You actually knew who was on the other end, and that yeah, the situation was a long way beyond a peaceful resolution. That's different from "Well, why...

And in the event that "discreet" turns into "whoops, got discovered", what do you do? Because you've just helped screw up the primary relationship. So they go to counseling, have the poly talk, and deal from there. If not, they divorce. No. No, there really isn't any integrity in doing that...

...it is NOT OKAY to be lying to a terminally ill or disabled person "for hir own good". Holy wow, just no. Y'all work it out together and then decide what to do, because anything else is massively disrespectful. I think the only possible situation where that's kosher is if a partner is in an...

Probably nature culling the weak. Anomaly? SQUASH. In a metaphorical way, of course. A novel, of all things, made the point to me: Before a population reaches a certain technological level, it breeds in order to ensure the species survives. At that point in time, those who are unable to...

For me, total deal breaker. I don't lie and I don't want to be with liars. "Not telling" counts as a lie, especially about something this major. And what about the person or people in the dark? I've been on that side of the equation. I hated it. I hated watching what it did to my mum. So no...

I'm not much for hearts and flowers either, but ye gods, in no universe would I be upset with a partner for dealing in his own way. That's not right. You stay with her, you're in for a world of hurt. You seem to have a very strong sense of self. So does she. By themselves, those things are not...

Interesting linguistic shift there--people can "do poly", in that they can actively try to make it work, and yet some people see themselves as "being poly". I wonder if the difference there is applicable to situations like this one, where the OP is asking herself if she's cut out for this? Some...

First, without plowing through the rest of the thread (so probably nothing revolutionary): I've always read it as more the latter. I feel no less loved than if I were primary. I just don't live with them. However, your situation is not mine, and we have been explicit about these matters with...

Between which generations, please? And with what evidence/experience to back it up? Sign me the walking exception to a lot of rules, I guess.

Well, only cut out the porn if you feel it's detracting from your relationships. Some people find it enhances certain aspects of sexuality; some just see it as an outlet when there is no convenient warm body (and no impulse to run out and find a one-night stand). It's what you make of it...

Ha bloody ha! I'm about your age and I take a looooong time to be comfortable. Most of the guys' profiles I see are all "1-2 dates," and, "First date? No problem," and I'm thinking I'll never find another partner. Ever. So I guess we're both anachronisms.

Young could mean anything from 20-40 in the poly community-at-large, though I have noticed more of us in our 20s coming out of the woodwork. You're in the best possible city in Texas for it, I think. Austin hasn't got a stick up its behind. ;) Untangle the circumstances first, though: are they...

A quick Google would do you some good.

Maybe these days, but when my dad was military, we didn't do things mainly with military families. We did things with whoever popped up to be friends in the neighborhood. Weren't living on base housing at the time, though, so maybe it's different for those who do...

Although I think as a girl I'd have qualified as BIROmantic, with the number of pens I collected... [ba-dum CHING]

There's also a form of polyamory in the Darkover novels (blended SF/F--Earth comes to a planet full of pseudo-medieval people with magic!). It was a pleasant surprise for me.

Oddly enough, at least on my part, when I started kicking around the idea of a graph, I wasn't looking to exclude. I've become fascinated by the million different ways people in the poly community describe themselves (or don't). I mainly wanted to see how people's self-descriptions plotted...

For my part, the usefulness is purely academic in nature. I truly do like to study and sort people, things, situations--all of that fascinates me. Getting the chance to adapt the work of a researcher I have long respected? Fun! Not your idea of fun, maybe. Riddles aren't my idea of fun; solid...

I made my points. I am satisfied that they're out there. I don't think either of us is liable to change, so the notion of arguing further is pretty silly.

With respect: In an ideal world, you would be correct. Meanwhile, a quick browse through Wikipedia pulls up Nadja Benaissa, a pop singer who apparently had unprotected sex with HIV-negative individuals and infected one. Your own country went after an American who, to my neverending shame, did...