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Apparently American English has no standard spellings. It's all about the meaning. So I lobbed a few less-than-complimentary Britishisms at him and blocked him.

The former. She keeps calling and calling, and because she does that for everything, I've no way of knowing whether it is a situation where she could come up and get me or whether she's trapped somewhere. It's not down the hall as often as it is up the stairs, around corners, etc. I wish they'd...

They pop up like pimples . . . . . . those unremarkable, undesired, unfathomably lazy little gym rats. Hi..how r u doing today? An hour ago, I might've answered, "Well, my family had a bit of a crisis, but it's on its way to resolution, and I'm relieved to have my car back so I can run...

Trade-offs I wince a lot at home. There are things my family does that would never be tolerated in any other household. The one that set me to thinking about it was my mother randomly screaming up the stairs for me while I was listening to music -- I just made out the last syllable of my...

My Fair Unwedding I couldn't do a "real" wedding, O Best Beloved. My prospective whoever would have to be able to do without the fuss and feathers. I can list... hang on, counting on fingers, actually listing names... no more than thirty. On my side, anyhow. Six are family-family, the women I...

I did come to feel bad for him. A raft of teachers and professors did him a disservice by permitting him to obtain any kind of diploma (if indeed he ever did). So I wrote, in reply to his second short missive: Do you want me to proofread your entire profile, or just your messages? Properly...

Just can't leave well enough alone. Today's gem from OKCupid is a five-word message reproduced verbatim below: hello how are you today? Oh, you poor sucker, whoever you are. You poor, ugly, practically illiterate sucker in search of an available uterus for the continuation of your line. You...

TornHeart, well done. Sad that you found him in the company of someone who is likely a far better person than he is, isn't it? But let's let her cope with his crap. You are out of it now. Second step: no postmortems. No long strings of emails. CdM's right; he may well try to sell you on why the...

Well, you can't control whether he gets bitter and miserable, but you can control whether you have to put up with it! A clean break with no contact after sounds like a good idea.

I think this is partly where I'm coming from, too, when it comes to who I'll get involved with. I don't want to be my partner's second mom. I don't want to be my partner's carer from the start. Adults are responsible for themselves in my world; unless I am family, I have no obligation to fill a...

I've got no clue how to go about it. When I was a junior in high school, I had a long-distance girlfriend, but we met through fandom and all we did was text and write. (Texting in the shelves at work? Naughty. Texting your girlfriend when you work for a conservative? Wicked!) Okay, and chat...

An agony aunt is a giver of advice, usually in column form. It's British slang. Picked it up when I was a teenager reading a British teen magazine. God, I miss Sugar. A post-Raph stunner is a play on words. The women who posed for the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood were known as "stunners". I'm a...

Dear Staff Robot: Staff Robot, you surely know by now I don't like longhaired men and/or men with excessive, ill-groomed beardage. The other guy apparently will never be comfortable farting around me, nor with me farting around him. Staff Robot, this is a painful state of affairs. I don't...

The question, for me, is this: Would I need to hear it from my partner, from hir own lips, in order to trust hir? I make sure any partner of mine knows about the skeletons in my closet. I believe it's an act of building trust to share past transgressions. "This is who I was," it says. "I am...

Sorta kinda. I'm doing okay-ish (comes and goes, and I handle stress poorly). If whoever I'm with is doing as well as or better than I am, with a decent future outlook, I'll take a chance. What must be clear is that I won't tolerate certain behaviors no matter the reason. No cheating. No lying...

You are alive. That's the real first step of anything: being alive. Committing to staying that way is the second. Then we get to figure out how to do the rest. It sounds like you're well on your way. Congratulations. :)

A smile for a Thursday morning. Thank you! Finding the right therapy can take a lot of trial and error. So much goes into the relationship between therapist and client, and then you've got to be willing to keep going back -- it's hard work! The best fit I ever had was Ann at my community...

Never said you were a prick, for the record. Just showing you a situation where the person you're worried about is not okay and might be tired of hearing how shabby she looks. I have a friend who has developed a fondness for skincare products almost out of self-defense. Are we okay?

the might-have-beens (the never-wills) I have an incest problem. It's not what you'd think. Unlike George Michael Bluth, I can leave my cousins well enough alone. No, it's more like... are any of you only children? I don't know if anyone else does this, but since I lack siblings, I tend to...

Y'all would not believe the depth of this groove in my tongue. You know, from all the biting I've had to do. ;) Another board I frequent pulls a Nail Polish Maneuver in situations like this, which is precisely what it sounds like, but I don't use nail polish. So... anyone read any good books...