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So, when I come back with "Yeah, it's chronic fatigue syndrome; done a number on me, thanks for noticing!" will you be embarrassed or just silent? I mean, shit, I stuck both my feet in my mouth when I congratulated a "pregnant" lady on what turned out to be edema from her medications. That was...

Old triggers (I promise this is relevant to the board. Has to do with another thread, actually. Not a blog thread. An advice thread. I think this is where I'm coming from on the subject.) I never did like DBT. For one thing, I associate a lot of that whole Buddhist/Zen woo with a chap I'll...

Italics mine. People who come out of abusive situations don't come out the way they went in. Some emerge with a touch of PTSD, complete with triggers -- situations that send them back into the old headspace, setting off old emotions like it's all happening now. She apologises to you for her...

Dreams can be torture. People I used to love (or really, really, REALLY like) keep popping up in them. I dreamed, f'rinstance, that someone I used to want had not taken up with a total idiot after his divorce, and had not turned out to be kind of a douche. I dreamed he was a troubled, brooding...

Uh, hi. I'm one of them. Should've made that obvious. And yes, they've lived together as long as I've known them. For the record, I am skeeved as fuck by people who lie about their status. Anyone who tries to get me on their side by lying to me, even by omission, is someone I won't trust...

I met them together and found out right then and there. It was pretty much, "So, the lady you're here with...?" "Yeah, my partner." "Cool!" Then we emailed back and forth for a bit, and THEN I asked him if he fancied me. We even had a dinner out all three together before anything happened in...

This is a safe space for Debbie Downers and Negative Nellies. Come one, come all, come cranky, come snarky. :) Very sorry that your work week sucked. I love how good news comes wrapped in bad. /sarcasm

Staff Robot can kiss my ass. OKCupid must be down to pulling names out of hats in its efforts to match me. It won't venture much past 35 in doing so, either, when I've told it "25-50" or something to that effect. I may have to pull up that minimum age, frankly, because I'm being proven correct...

It ain't over 'til it's over. Do you know how to clear your browser's history, perchance? So you can search for resources safely?

"...wouldn't any restriction on how many be unrealistic?" The difference, Vinccenzo, is that we choose whether to act on feelings, according to what resources we have and whether the relationship is a good idea. Well, people who stop and think about what they're doing function this way. I've...

A recurring topic at eight months in? Ouch. That doesn't seem like very long, but then I'm a slowpoke when it comes to trust and intimacy. Yes, you could well be so attached to her that you'd rather not pursue your other attractions. As humans, we are capable of a vast range of emotions and...

You tend to be very respectful. Thus, an answer from a random poly girl who also identifies as queer: Breathing is a little different. ;) I've long viewed both poly and queerness as innate, but I also recognise that we have to choose whether we want to express either trait. For some people...

A wonderful suggestion, and most aptly timed. I wonder if we couldn't go one step further and have the thread locked?

Could it be that we don't all here view people as objects to be owned? I certainly wasn't ever some man's woman, and part of my resentment toward that mindset made polyamory a more natural fit. You're going to laugh so hard but I will swear on the lives of my remaining family that I exist as...

Much sympathy. Am there, am doing it, haven't even got a lousy T-shirt. Anti-depressants in particular suck for bipolar; they trigger manic episodes. They even trigger hypomanias in the previously depressed. [facepalm] You gave it all a try and you've made your decision. Eminently respectable.

To figure out what Daffodil wants to hear, other than "I'm gone, he's all yours." To see what might help her cope. I do believe she can.

Honestly, you'd have to ask her what's in her heart. I know from our interactions that this is probably the best poly has ever worked for her, but I don't presume she's absolutely comfortable. She's monogamous. She takes a lot on trust in him, and I try to show that she can trust me, too. Or...

Fair's fair! If she felt that way, I hope she would ask me, straight out, "Are you trying to take him away from me?" And I would tell her, "No, I respect your relationship and the joy it brings to him." Because I do. There's no sword here to fall upon. I don't want her gone. I think the two of...

Oh, absolutely. Introvert answer alert! ;) I can't cope with big, chaotic households. I can cope with big households that run well and that acknowledge people's individual needs, wants, etc. I can cope with small households with minor chaos. I can definitely cope with households of one...

Stealing that concept because it's so nice. I do still get the warm fuzzies over Darling. They're just backed by knowing him, which makes them even more awesome.