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Being poly is no better and no worse than being mono. You want to be with your girlfriend and only your girlfriend, and she's cool with it? Then you're all right. Like dingedheart said, I too tend to view it as a wiring thing. I've never understood... rather a lot about "normal" dating. But...

His actions say he thinks the relationship is intact. His mouth might say, "Yeah, we're platonic now", but the restrictions placed on you scream "...and I don't want that!" So in this case, if you want to have a loving relationship with more than him, in your home, without ferrying the kids...

Piping up to say I've messaged you on OKC, Adam, if you are who my little birdies think you are, and to reiterate in a very public way that the problem isn't you. :) It's harder to date, period, when you're not in a city or a suburb, and it's worse when you have responsibilities on top of that...

Clowns to the left of you, jokers to the right... I'd cut and run, personally. If what you want is to move on, and it's feasible for you, do it. Get a little one- or two-bedroom apartment (depending on number of kids/your willingness to sleep on a futon in the living room), be friends with your...

I'm sorry that's the outcome. Unfortunately, some people just can't be reasonable. There are better folks in the world. I hope you find them fast. <3

You're enmeshed. Your brother should not be able to disrupt your life this much over something that pertains to you and your partners. Now that he's shown you that he's willing to do so, and will also heap blame on you for his inability to handle things (hint: it's HIS inability), not talking...

The Hunger Games? Harry Potter? I mean, not to burst your bubble, but those are easily two of the biggest sellers in recent memory. Most books actually end up going with titles that relate to the contents, when they're not shooting for subtler, but still THERE, narrative, poetic and/or thematic...

You know, if the relationship essentially isn't, I wonder why your husband would even care that someone's coming into the home. Would you object to him bringing partners home?

You're going to get the dramatic "you perv" types. Isn't it somewhat better to figure out which ones those are from the get-go? They're not going to like it any better if you break it to them gently. In fact, I'm thinking those types would just be ticked you kept the whole truth from them. Then...

See, if you were meeting CdM and I, one or the other of us would ask what that meant. Communication issues cause so much poly drama that we've both learned to love the direct approach.

Did that falling-for-taken-people a few times. Actually, realizing that I didn't want them to leave their partners was how I began to understand the difference between a poly mindset and a mono one. (Exception: the abusive partner to a very nice man. Everyone they knew wanted her gone.) I had...

That, says the broke, disabled chick, is the problem of the people who aren't dating you. Then again, you said you were 38? I'm 26, and my slice of my generation (about two years either side of me) got screwed by this recession pretty hard. For us, moving home isn't so weird. People have had to...

Since my metamour is both monogamous and not comfortable with my partner outing himself to her family, and my family's perfectly fine with polyamory, I came into this understanding that she needed a certain amount of preservation of status quo. We also don't care as much about the same holidays...

Vastly amused that kids are in this grouping, says the childfree smartarse. :D To answer the original question, I tell up-front, as soon as the possibility of more than friendship arises. It's prominent in my OKC profile, and I go over it again if someone messages me because zie might not have...

Polyamorous and polysyllabic. I'm a real catch. :D

You know exactly what it's like, then. Okay. I hate that I can run into someone on a forum who does, but at least we're both out. That's important. And because I know men can be hit with it, too, I am trying to keep gender as neutral as possible. I knew a woman who did this to a male friend of...

I had a circle of friends who met weekly; I was the new girl, but I did stick with them for a couple of years. Things got complicated with two members, romantically speaking, before I understood I was probably poly/what that could mean in practice. I pretty much asked the hostess to help me not...

That's your dynamic, and your definition of inappropriate. My parents did give each other hugs and the odd kiss in front of me. Not the sucking-out-your-soul kind of kiss (yeah, I would've shut my eyes and run squealing) but more than they'd give a friend! It takes serious discipline to keep...

Hello! Very nice to meet you. I hope you find what you're looking for. There's an awesome section on this site for people who are looking; you might try reposting this there. Might get a nibble. Cheers!

I did. And my situation (admittedly not a relationship) could so easily have been rectified, had anyone believed it was as simple as removing me from the proximity of my abuser. All that mindset accomplished was me withdrawing my trust from all but about three people in my life. When in doubt...