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I do. What about the repercussions for the one doing the cheating in that situation? (e.g. do you WANT your partner bludgeoned when hir spouse finds out?) And how is it ethical to get involved with someone who's being abused, but make no attempt to help hir get away?

"Cuddle party" and "puppy pile" both sound very young, yes. That is problematic to me. Touch can be great! Touch is therapeutic! I once slept on a bed with several people because I was terrified of what the night was going to bring (switching meds, ugh). I have also happily sprawled across...

Serendipitously (and, if you know us, inevitably), we agree on this one. I don't even bother with "In an Open Relationship" anymore. That's TMI unless I feel like telling. There's a Darling whose name is never revealed, and my friends who do know who he is respect our desire for privacy. Just...

Tuppence a little late in the thread, but... I couldn't do a cuddle party because I'd walk away wondering what fresh microbe I'd just picked up. I'm a tidge envious of people who can catch colds/flus and not flinch; I'm useless for a week to ten days, and likely to be in intense pain during the...

Number of times I have said that upon rejection: several. Number of times I was right: none. Rewards for changing my mind about that old chestnut: infinite. Been there from both sides. You're right. It is unhealthy to make one person the standard by which you judge all others. Raising your...

Tonberry, I was just about to remark on that... even as a child, I could never decide on one! That created more conflict than it quelled. :) These days, I have a variety of best friends who are bests for good reason. If I had to pick an absolute best? Probably CdM, these days. But he is also my...

Kind of sounds like a trainwreck in progress. Get out before he drags you too far in. There are available men with far less drama in their lives.

It's always nice to be loved back. It isn't always possible. This is reality. Welcome to it. And yeah, stop having sex with someone who leaves you feeling lesser and unloved. That's the best way to drive yourself nuts.

I gotta say that making a whole group just for one's target population is a creative new hunting tactic. Props for originality. I should set up a "With-It Blokes Between 35-50 Who Are Also Reasonably Geeky and Open To Poly" group. What say, CdM? You're only a couple years off the target; you...

It's not necessarily impossible to have something permanent at 21, but you and F have been together for four years. In that time, surely you both grew and changed. (If you were this with-it at 17, I am officially jealous! I was a total trainwreck!) Maybe it's time for you two to think about who...

Very glad to hear it, Iris. I hope you two are able to find a long-term solution. :)

It's sounding more and more like you're better off without him. I view honesty as fundamental to a relationship; if my partner can't be honest with me, out the door zie goes. You said yourself you grew up while you were married. Is it possible you two have grown in different directions...

You said "from Germany" and I have, in fact, lived in Germany. Just not as an adult. ;) My biggest tip worldwide, though? Look for urban areas if that's what you miss, though I daresay you've already got a decent-size urban area. I mean, Karlsruhe isn't the sticks. There's Pforzheim half an...

I have a small question: are you ruling out all women who are in relationships already, or just the ones who are not interested in what you have to offer?

I think you have the right idea. Kids aren't stupid, but wow, will they come to some strange conclusions if they don't get the truth!

:D This, my friends, is schadenfreude. "Happiness at the misfortune of others? That IS German!"

CielDuMatin is; his internet access is spotty right now because he's over there this week.

I am not sure if you have ever experienced chronic and/or severe illness as described. I am sure that during my own long haul, in those horrible days before we knew what was going on and family members were dying on me (stress upon stress!), I would damn well have preferred to hear him say...

How do you do it? Not sarcasm. What's different about us, then? Is it because you were an adult and knew that relationships could be healthy and full of trust without excessive verification required? Are you just on a more even keel? ("Both" is an answer. :) )

I guess it's harder to believe that after the men around you either cheat or help someone else cheat. (Yes, sauce for goose, sauce for gander, etc. I know there are faithless women as well; a friend called me from a hotel room once because her friend's mother had thrown them all a slumber party...