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Scar Symmetry Soilwork Opeth All Shall Perish... All awesome metal, on loan from boyfriend who is slowly making a metalhead out of me :)

To tell or not to tell... Indeed, that's a tough one. I don't have any close relatives in town, so I don't have to worry about telling anyone really. My eldest child knows (she's 14) but my youngest (he's 10) hasn't really been told yet. My ex (their dad) does not know, as I think it might...

Not sure how I feel... This coming weekend, I'm attending my boyfriend's wedding to one of his long time mates. I'm really happy for them, but kinda sad at the same time...:confused:

I can't really add much to the great advice already given in this thread, but thought I'd let you know that you're definitely not alone, and you've come to the right place. My own situation is VERY similar to yours, and I'm still working on figuring out what's NRE and what isn't. Trying to...

Ultimatums really aren't the way to go. There has to be room for dicussion and compromise in all relationships, not just poly.

I got curious and looked it up, only because English is not my first language. According to Wiki, "A veto, Latin for 'I forbid,' is the power to unilaterally stop an official action." I take veto to mean that they have to right to tell him "No, you don't get to date this person." But it could...

It is. My relationship with my boyfriend started as FWBs only, but over maybe half a year, feelings crept in, until a point, early last year, when we realized we were falling in love. It's been been roughly 10-11 months since the L word was spoken, and we admitted our feelings to each other and...

Do whatever is easier for you. Sometimes, I write stuff out until it's clear to ME what the core issues are, then I'm better able to communicate them either verbally, via email, or text. Your letter as a whole might be a bit too much to throw at him all at once, but maybe if you break it down...

Becoming poly is a work in progress, and it's not for everyone. I'm still working at it and it's been almost a year and a half. Just keep communicating honestly with Zoe and Lucy, and make sure that Lucy's expectations are in line with yours and Zoe's. If you're slightly askew, work towards a...

Q. Is Lucy already poly? A single person with a monogamous background might have different expectations of your relationship than someone who's used to being poly and sharing. Your marriage does come first and you need time to achieve a balance that works for everyone. I have a husband and...

Redpepper, veto as in, if they do not like, or have reservations about, the person he intends to "get to know better," they can ultimately say no go. But since they all act safe and cautious, this never really needs to happen. The wife told me that she'd used a veto only once in 7 years, with...

Interesting question. Really, couldn't answer for the wife, if there are other issues affecting them. But as for me, the size of the tool matters a lot less than the enthusiasm with which it is used. Provided the size of it is in the normal range, it's a non-issue. My hubby is thicker than my...

This whole group has been so amazingly helpful to me, I'm sure they'll do the same for you. Glad you're here :)

Clear expectations are, for sure, very helpful. This is a good starting point for a long deep conversation. I hope you can get some answers and direction. I know I hate uncertainty... When I love, it's all or nothing.

Well, Liam has had one hookup since we started seeing each other. Nothing long lasting, just a weekend of visiting, and a little "fun" with a trusted female friend of his husband who lives a few hours away and is herself married. I must say the old mono jealousy made a comeback. I worked...

The replies I've received here are helping me figure things out. I do think I need to let go more, as you mention. It's not easy, but I'm trying. As for him, I think he's getting what he needs from the relationship. He seems happy. Although he has expressed liking the fantasy of all of us...

I've read the last few pages of your blog and I want to thank you for sharing your story. It's made me see that I am luckier than I even realized. I may struggle with being a secondary at times, but my bf makes every effort to make me feel special every time we see each other. His mates are...

Honestly, I'm a little bit afraid. I do want to seem "cool about it," rather than insecure... so guilty as charged, there. I don't like to admit my insecurities. I feel like that would make me annoying and whiny. I know it's advisable to be open and speak up, but I'm definitely a bit...

Yeah... I fear you're right. It's a bit hard to unlearn after a lifetime of being monogamous. We do have a lovely relationship, even without the traditional "commitment" you mention above. Sometimes it helps to have the obvious pointed out, ya know? lol As for what Schrodingerscat is saying...

So much wonderful advice... Thank you! Every reply brought up some really good points and questions. It looks like I have much thinking to do. Maybe I don't really want more from Liam. Maybe I am just worried about losing what we already have. We have no life together per se, no kids, no...