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They ran a race together today, and went to my/our place afterwards. Once Nick left, I came home. I'm so sad today, between this, and getting the news about mom yesterday. And today is the anniversary of my aunt's passing two years ago, and the birthday of another aunt who passed two years ago...

Quick update-- at bar marinating liver; they have apartment. Found out my mom has lung cancer yesterday. Life's grand...

:) Thanks again, all of you, for your support. This is just making me batty. One minute I'm fine, then something snaps a bit and I'm just heartbroken. UGH!!! It's so good to know that those of you with experience under your belts in this type of relationship handle things so much better than...

Crap crap crap You make some very valid points, RP. Thanks, as always, for the clear perspective. I sincerely hope you're wrong, but I doubt it. Did I say CRAP yet?!

Pardon double post. Missed Mono's response. That's exactly what I was searching for! Thank you both for articulating it. Yes, parts of my heart and mind are clicking off like gears, but it seems like the more they do, the closer to compersion I feel-- which makes no sense! Am I sacrificing my...

It's interesting you say that about tuning out. I kind of feel that's what I have been doing, and it's allowing me greater acceptance, or giving me peace with it all, which, oddly, is allowing me to feel closer to Nora! Our communication has certainly improved (as has our sex life). I haven't...

I guess I'm wondering if your only concern is the complications if they get caught. In my similar situation, I'm really not hugely worried about that. Frankly, if they get caught, it's because they screwed up and deserve it. It's more of "accomplice guilt" that I have issue with.

Redpepper, I'm glad you brought up compersion. I don't know if I will ever find it. Last night, we were all together at another concert (by the way, this is exhausting!). I stepped away to have a smoke, and watched them interact from a distance. The pangs of anger/jealousy and all the other...

I feel your pain. I recently met... cripes, it's even hard to say: my wife's boyfriend's wife. I'm interested to see how both our situations unfold, and how he relayed how it went when he got home.

I'm really not sure. Certainly all of the above crossed my mind. In part, I think Nora knew she couldn't flirt with Nick in front of Maya, and just laid her cover on a bit too quick. She's certainly mentioned to me the threesome fantasy involving Nick and me. I've told her that if she attempts a...

Yeah, it feels like progress. I'm just not sure. We went to another Lawn Fete Saturday with Nick and Maya and another friend. We were all drinking, and Nora was incessantly flirting with Maya (groping, dancing). I believe it was all in good silly fun, didn't take it seriously at all. However...

Hi angel; I'm too new in exploring this, from the mono perspective. Please take my advice with the Salt of coming from a newb. It seems communication really is the key, I find it easier when I can think about things before they happen instead of after. If you have the opportunity to spend...

Wow, so, rollercoaster! Yesterday was great, we talked, went out for dinner, came home for wine, movies, snuggles. It was almost like we were new again. We're in bed at end of night and she gets a text. I know it's from Nick. I just say, "Go ahead." Nora says, "No, it's either good night, or he...

I finally got her to crack The Ethical Slut. She's not a reader, and frankly, kind of busy playing both ends. 😕 Opening the book was a huge step. I've sent Nora some links, and the forum info here. She even gave this forum to a friend who is beginning to process his polyamory. She has told me...

Nice intro, it actually gave me some food for thought. Look forward to reading more.

Thank you. I really am breaking every paradigm I hold true in this. It's funny, if they were just swinging, I would not care less. It's this whole relationship behaviour that's so excruciatingly painful. Nora has been so strong, trying to be fair, and yet she's been quite cloddish at times. She...

Never too old... I guess what I'm wondering is, will I be able to gain acceptance over time, or will it always be this hellish? Am I pushing myself too far, to our detriment? I'm just so damned frustrated. Sometimes it's easy, and others it's the most painful thing I've ever felt. Any advice...

Oh dear, I'm really just a rehabiltated sinner...

Yeah, I know. I'm losing my mind. Pros: - It's financial. Them dating is going to get expensive, for me. :( - I worry so much when they are out about Nora's safety. - If I'm the one sitting at home alone, my mind wanders to all the ugly places and I just stew. - They are not as discreet as...

I noticed it a few weeks back. Oddly looking forward to the day when the Mrs comes out and changes her profile.