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Please pardon the double-post, I know it's bad form. UGH, I suck! So last night was Nora's first shot at taking me on a date. Well, there's this restaurant I've been trying to take her to for years now. Last weekend she told me she was running a race with Nick there, and I got pissed. Well...

Wow, Eugene, the Poet in your handle suits you. Thank you. It's all so damned hard. I really have been focusing on my communication, and have kept my anger under a very tight lid. My challenge right now is making sure that I try with all my heart to be there in some capacity to pick up the...

Certainly yet another perspective to view this all in. It's so overwhelming!! Geez, a month ago, life was perfect, planning vacations, retirement, thinking of buying a home and a new car. Now I feel like I can't plan for tomorrow. I'm trying so hard to be careful, smart, and not lose myself...

Not in Florida anymore, I did live there for several years. It's freakishly comforting to know I'm not the only one.

Yeah, it is. Before she and I got together, I am ashamed to say I was with a married man for 6 years. I know the story she is about to write, and it has a tragic ending. The thing is, I can't help her, or protect her, and it makes my heart bleed. This one she's gotta do on her own. She and Nick...

I don't disagree. I've been a mistress myself; and have since learned the life lessons, as well as being child of marriage broken by my cheating dad. While I could spell it out for Nora (as some of her friends are), I feel this is one I can't instruct her on. She's going to need to...

I very much agree, Redpepper, but it's one of those "sacrifice your integrity for your heart" kinds of things for Nora. I don't expect them to be an LTR. Nick has been married for 10 years, and a cheater for 7. I think he got caught back in March, and has been on couch duty since. From what I...

You folks are just awesome. Thanks so very much for the encouragement.

I sincerely cant't thank you all enough for the reassurance, Im trying so hard to do right by everyone; and it's such a new realm for me, I have very little of a skill-set. I'm trying my best and the reassurance you folks provide is invaluable. @firechild thank you, but in repsect for...

Oh, so you're moving in with her, not she with you! I see that as kind of better. If you are moving there, and the new job is adequate (considering today's economy) why not go for it? What's the worst case scenario? You're in a new place with a new job? If you're working, than, I'm...

wow, we're on the same issues at the same time. I actually posed the orientation here a few dadys ago in another thread (forgive me Im not sure where). I saw 3 basic answers, some say lifestyle, others orientation, and others both. My intrepreation has since become, it is probably an...

So, as you may know, my wife Nora discovered/admitted she was polyamorous about 3 weeks ago. *We are both female.* Nora currently has a bf, Nick, a guy I actually introduced her to, a friend I grew up with. He has been married to his wife, Maya, who does not know, for 10 years. The last few...

JBird I'm kind of going through this revelation with my wife, whom I've been with for 6 years, I understand alot of the processes your mind must be reeling in. You seem to feel betrayed she didn't tell you sooner; is it possible, giving her the benefit of the doubt, that maybe she is just now...

Well, making baby steps. Been another rough few days. I made her aware that he and I have spoken on a few occassions, the general topics, but not necessarily a verbatum transcript. Seems to be the right path. i'm still not happy about my wife having a boyfriend, but I'm trying really hard to...

Ugh, ok so all of us and a few friends going to beer tent/concert tonight... We'll see.

Thanks RedPepper, I really do appreciate all of you mentoring me through this. I keep having the feeling like I need to force it uopn myself. Like a band-aid better to rip it off quick and figure out if I can deal/stay with her after.

Thanks for the pointers. I actually was childhood friends with the BF, so for the most part, its not hugely uncomfortable. It's not like we're talking regularly, just when something relevent occurs. I'm trying to behave with as much integrity as possible. I'll be the first to admit, I'm not...

I'm not sure how I'm going to handle this, but I'm in need of some etiquette advice/opinions. My wife's boyfriend and I are starting to communicate (via Facebook messenger). I asked her if I could contact him. She agreed happily. I did not tell her I actually did, but we've had a few...

My sort of relevent query, do "Polys" consider polyamory a lifestyle or an orientation?

Well, so far today has been a work-out. I'm exhausted. I got to play Cyrano de Bergerac for her, to help her heal things with her bf due to the mess Saturday. Then I got the pleasure of contacting him to let him know it was my fault, and he and I have no issues. Part of me feels relieved...