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This. Move on. You deserve better. It's out there. Shut it down and just move on.

Let's not read too deeply between the lines there. You can see the response as flippant, if you choose, but it started with "Why does that worry you?"

Why does that worry you? You love both men. Both men love you. If it's a thing that both of them are into. Where's the harm? Some people get hot and bothered with the thought of their SO with another person. It's a thing.

Oh, how I wish this was true. I have a super public job in a small area with super judgey people. My life is lived under a microscope. The whispers when the wife and I publicly separated and announced we were getting a divorce was huge — and when I started dating there were more whispers and...

This makes zero difference to a mono person. I know in the poly dynamic its about freedom and equality and all sides free to share their love as they will, but to a mono person in a poly situation it's really a quite pointless variable. If they wanted to pursue other romantic interests despite...

The "primary/secondary" discussion is one we've had several times. My long-standing ties are to my wife. Long marriage — most of our adult lives — and a shared child. I have economic responsibilities both to her and the child both now and after the divorce. In respects to "responsibilities" I...

I'll take Babs over Emma Thompson any day of the week and twice on Sundays — sometimes more than twice... ;)

A) True — I know that I'm capable of maintaining them without diminishing them in my eyes. Whether I'm doing it WELL is a question for those two. B) I doubt very seriously she will ever post here. I shared with her another thread — I think you know the one I'm talking about — and watched the...

This is exactly how I feel — this is entirely situational. I don't want to add anyone else and I can't imagine pursuing this again should the dynamics change. It's a situation that works, and not because something innate in me, but because of how wonderful/amazing the two women are. There's a...

I pick up lingo really quickly — it's why I can use the word "agency" and "privilege" around Babs and still maintain a neutral expression. :D

Also, Autumn, if you're not on AVEN's forums, I'd highly suggest it. Very, very helpful to the asexual community and to those of us close to them.

I'd agree with Babs. (Oh, that nickname is soooo going to stick IRL). It's going fairly well, but it's early days. I guess what I'd add — and I've said it a few times — is that none of us are poly people in the sense that it's used on this forum. We're all mono people in a poly situation driven...

I wasn't specifically limiting my discomfort to Aurelie's posts, but it may very well be a "man thing." It could be a mono thing. It could be any number of things. I'm also INTJ — which means "feelings" aren't exactly my strong suit to begin with. :) I think you're confusing trying to empathize...

Brid75, that's what I was trying to get at. It's one thing to be participating and witness to a dynamic conversation as it unfolds — it's quite another to just have 21+ pages of stuff — including some very intimate and intense stuff — dropped on you. I wasn't even party to this. I just got...

I believe it was "not happy" and "miffed" which to me communicates a certain threshold that I view as less than "upset" — which is kind of where I was going. In his shoes, if only reading pre-chosen passages, or guided to less — let's go with the word "intense" — parts of the thread, one might...

Sure. I guess I was trying to get a sense for what he had been exposed to. Like I would be "miffed" if they screwed up the dry cleaning, left onions on my burger or my VCR clock was blinking 12:00 and it didn't record the season finale of Simon & Simon. I'm just thinking there might be another...

This is a brilliant reply. I kinda want to hug LotusesandRoses.

Out of curiosity, has he read all of the thread, or just bits and pieces? I'm not in his shoes, but if he can read this entire thing and come away without a profound sense of sadness, anger — okay, let's be honest — blood curdling rage, then he's a bigger man than I am. Or perhaps just wired so...

Corey: I'd ignore the whole bit about you being controlling here. A lot of the Poly People™ have a very clear and loving construct that they operate under, but it really only works when both people are party to it. That's not your situation. You're trying to adopt a different set of parameters...

I'm separated, about to get divorced from my wife who is asexual. She's the other side of the V, if you will. I love her, cherish her, and am giving her the type of physical affection she craves. If, on the rare moment when the planets align, she decides she wants more, then I'll be there to...