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  1. Q

    Should I offer him an open marriage?

    One of the advantages of poly is that one person doesn't have to be "everything" for the other. For example, if he liked horror movies and you did not, he could go with someone else. However, most of those types of examples could be accomplished with a good friend. Sex is kind of different...
  2. Q

    On coming out, and false friends

    It is way too easy to look down on those that are different then you. I think that is part of human nature to a degree. But we can learn to overcome these prejudices. I grew up in southern USA and I saw a lot of racism. (I am a white male BTW.) Interracial relationships were very frowned upon...
  3. Q

    Not sure how to proceed, if it's even possible

    I think he needs to figure out what he wants and not focus as much on what society expects he should want. Why can't he be "forever" with you? "Forever" is never a guarantee and just an attempt to try to be together as long as it is good for both people. I think he should enjoy a good thing...
  4. Q

    Married, starting Polyandry-type relationship--info/advice?

    Congrats on both of you figuring out what you want. I think for the most part, you just have to follow several poly 101 rules. Keep communication open. Be honest with what you want and don't be afraid to talk about it. Understand that other people may not value the same things you value. Feeling...
  5. Q

    Confused, scared, transitioning from swinging to polyamory

    When I was in a triad, one of my biggest problems was trying to balance every action with one woman with a similar action with the other. It took awhile to realize that we all needed to talk about what we wanted. It turned out that I had overstressed on a few things like cuddle time at night...
  6. Q

    NRE (New Relationship Energy) - Merged Threads, General Discussion

    How would you feel about your relationship with your wife if you were dating someone you had strong feeling for? Are you missing a good relationship or are you missing her? It may just be that you and your wife have grown apart. Or maybe she is just overwhelmed with NRE, that she is not...
  7. Q

    I have a ton of questions!

    I say you should try it out now instead of later. Going through poly tends to be a big experience that can change many perspectives. Better to go through it sooner than later. Be careful about triads, I use to focus on them more because they sounded more stable than a V. However, I have...
  8. Q

    Better to Love and lost?

    I once had a friend who lived near a Native American. He told her that being in love is to put a star into the sky. Even when the love falls apart, the star is still there as extra light to all others walking in the night. That story helped me a little during a bad breakup. I still hurt for a...
  9. Q

    Religious survey

    I believe the idea of the Trinity came about a few hundred years after the events of the New Testament as a way to resolve portions of the Bible. In the beginning of Christianity, there were many different types of views of Jesus. Some held that Jesus was purely mortal and he was possessed by...
  10. Q

    Religious survey

    I sometimes call myself a born again atheist. :)
  11. Q

    got to meet his gf...

    Congrats!
  12. Q

    Really need some help-- phone sex with another man

    One of the advantages of polyamory (or swinging) is that it takes away the burden of having to try to be everything for your partner. For example, I know couples who got into swinging because one was heavily into BDSM, while the other was not interested. Everyone gets their needs met; no one is...
  13. Q

    She can't talk to her friends without feeling like a whore

    I think that is a self image she will have to overcome. She could easily call herself a stud, a player, or just a woman who likes you. It is all in how she wants to see herself. My guess is that her past will play a lot into this. I have dated several women who have been sexually abused when...
  14. Q

    Shared my partner, now my body rejecting intimacy with him. Help! Why?

    One of the interesting things about polyamory versus standard monogamy is that there is no "stealing" someone away. In standard monogamy, if your SO met someone "better" you would have to worry about losing them. But in polyamory, there is no need to steal. The only reason for them to leave you...
  15. Q

    Tangled web of poly

    I think you should have fun with it. It doesn't sound psychotic unless you act defensive when you say it.
  16. Q

    A request: state your gender and sexual preference/orientation

    Straight male married to a female. I think labels are good and bad. They help someone else size up a situation quickly, but they can lead to a sterotype of that label.
  17. Q

    Polyamory and Christianity

    I talked to a guy at my work who was learning Hebrew so he could better read the Torah. There are a lot of languages differences in how people would say them back then in a different language and how they say them today. I remember a few examples: 1) The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil is...
  18. Q

    Polyamory and Christianity

    Someone told me that the first verse was suppose to be "gods" not "God" because the Hebrews were polytheistic for a bit and Yahweh(God) was just one of the several gods they worshiped.
  19. Q

    Religious survey

    It is not about disproving that god(s) exist, but about showing there is no reason that requires for god(s) to exist. So just like someone who says that Santa Claus or Bigfoot is real, the burden of proof is on them. Not really. Every time I have seen quantum theory applied to something outside...
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