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I think it can help some couples. But I have tried the "let's be monogamous until our relationship is very stable" and it took years and still failed. Looking back, I think it would have been the same whether we were monogamous or poly.

It reminds me a little of the kid that lived with very strict parents going to college for the first time. There is a lot of partying and lots of "fuck-ups." Eventually they adapt or majorly screw up. There are many ways you can respond to all of this. Let him know you feel a little ill at the...

I believe the Utilitarian church is very open minded. However, they welcome all faiths including atheists.

One way to bring it up is to find some polyamory news in the media. (One good spot is Polyamory in the News.) You could use this as a launching point to see what his views on polyamory are. That may can lead into a "what if" type of situation. Like you could ask him if thinks it is possible to...

I have heard of several poly relationships starting out from an affair. However, I have seen cheating done in open relationships as well. One of the first couples I met who were somewhere on the swinger/poly spectrum had a very open relationship. Their only rule was the other person had to be...

She does not sound poly to me because poly is based on open communication with full knowledge and consent of all parties. She is not even on the swinger side of the spectrum since that involves trust as well. It seems she gets her thrills from cheating itself. Agreeing to be non-monogamous may...

I think NRE lasts about 6 months. It can last longer if you rarely see each other. Your results may vary. :)

Your husband is coming off a little hypocritical in all of this. It sounds like he should really read more about poly. Your relationship with your other boyfriend does not affect how you feel about your husband. So any insecurity your husband feels noods to be dealt with at the root of the...

It sounds like things are going well. I would suggest that you make sure the new boyfriend gets a little Polyamory 101. Make sure he knows that he can not "win" you away from your current boyfriend. And let him know how he can deal with his jealousy (ok to feel, but treat it more as a sympton...

I think poly people behave many different ways in social situations. Some are very comfortable hanging out with their lover's lovers. Some don't feel that way and choose to do something else. I think you should do that which makes you the most comfortable. I sometimes start to second guess...

Give her some time to come to terms with the idea. Awhile back, I flirted with a woman. I told her that I had a gilrfriend and explained polyamory. (This was like 15 years ago.) She kind of wanted to play it by ear. Basically, I think she thought she would have a fling with me and then walk...

I think the analogy doesn't work well because a person does not own another person's sex. I think a better analogy is playing a game of poker. You start off and agree to the rules (5 card stud) and then play by those rules. You cheat if you break a rule. In this case, it sounds more like they...

I think that monogamy is not assumed until you have gone out on a few dates. So i don't think you have to talk about poly until you have had a few dates. It is like how you don't have to talk about marriage, sexual desires or medical conditions until you get to know the person more. However...

It is good that you know what you want. That is sometimes the hard part. I don't think you can really reform someone who consistently cheats. I have known people who cheated and found polyamory and went the honesty route after that. However, I have also met people who will lie and cheat even...

Your gripes are definitely legitimate. I think it is a relatively common problem. You did the right thing by stating what you want. She may not realize how much she is stepping in on your time. You are also having to deal with his NRE for her. That makes it even more difficult.

It sounds like you are trying to get your emotions in line with your intellect. I think it is possible to do it. I have had similar feelings that you have. Awhile back I was dating a woman and we were both into polyamory. I was very ok with her going out with other women, but I had a hard time...

I am like that. I am not specifically looking for anything in particular, but I would like to find another partner. I think many people discover polyamory through accident once they find out they can love more than one person. I am hoping that polyamory will one day be a common enough word that...

I remember when I first started dating. One of the things that bothered me was that I was a virgin until I was with my girlfriend (I was 17 at the time). However, she was not a virgin. I had some very strong emotions about it at the time. But I also knew that it didn't make logical sense. There...

I have read a few things on polygamy in the Bible before. I am an atheist, so take what I say with a grain of salt. Basically, I was in a debate with a Christian on gay marriage. Their stance was that God defined marriage as one man and one woman. So I went looking through the Bible to see if...

I think Redpepper got most of the answer by saying that you get to be with the one you love. But I think there are other benefits to a mono partner. Here are a few that come to mind: 1) You have a stronger network. For example, you can call on your partner's other partners to plan a birthday or...