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I think a good start is to figure out why you feel jealous. It can offer valuable insights into your feelings. The most common cause is insecurity. You can work to deal with that by realizing that she wants to be with you. There is no reason for her to leave you unless you two are not working...

I try to give the people the benefit of the doubt. I assume that they will be understanding and will be reasonable. Now, I know that is unrealistic, but it keeps me from sounding defensive. If they act up, I can go the route of showing that i tried to be nice. There are probably a few things...

I think confidence comes from knowing you can do well. With some things it is easy. You can pass an exam or get a high score. For some it is hard. Like it is hard to see if you are a good lover based on being with one person. In the backrub example, it could be that your husband's comments...

It took me awhile because I first had to get over the culture idea of cuckold. Then I had to work to focus on the positive parts. A lot of that was trying to imagine myself in my wife's position. After thinking on it for several months, I finally realized I emotionally accepted the idea as well...

I think it is easy for people to people to show off their prejudice for something different from they are used to. I have never seen anything to show that polyamory hurts the children. Truthfully, there very little research has been done. But that does not stop a social worker from assuming that...

For me, I see poly as not about choosing. For example, say you did go out with a hot, young blonde. You go back to your gf because you liove her for who she is. It has nothing to do with how you feel about the blonde. In other words, you two are together because you like each other (for whatever...

Personally, I don't see this as cheating. It also sounds like your husband is slowing down your relationship with your bf out of envy. It sounds like if his relationship were going faster, he would be ok with yours going further with your bf. If you and your husband were mor established, then...

I bet that leads to some interesting dinnertime discussions. :)

As long as you are ok with it from your religious view, I would not worry too much about what other think. No matter what you do, you will offend someone of some religion. Your friends and family will hopefully see past any personal religious beliefs and accept you and your family for what it...

The best hindsight observation was about building your house behind your mother. :) There are several approaches you can take. One is to tell her that this is the way it is. If she is going to be judgmental, then she can stay at home. Another is a more polite version of the first. Tell her...

I had a similar problem with one woman I dated. When we first dated, we agreed on nonmonogamy. She was staying with a guy and told me they were not having sex. I found it surprising, but figured she just wanted to "be friends" with the guy. She was also seeing this other guy she was having sex...

I would say that ommission of truth (when you know the person wants to know something) is a form of a lie. But I don't consider all lies bad. For example, I may think that my wife's cooking tonight was horrible. However, I don't consider it a bad lie to tell her I enjoyed it. However, if she was...

Society is used to having lots of rules of thumb. A common one is that polyamorous or bisexual or non-monogamous means that you will sleep with anyone. I think over time this perception will change. But we have to be aware that we are easily judged this way.

It sounds like everyone is still relatively new to dealing with polyamory. Add to that communication over emails that don't work welll for people and I can understand your problem. One thing I have learned is to tell people that I am very literal and logical. Sometimes people try to read what...

I agree with the others that this is a big red flag. If she is being dishonest here, she could lie to you about other relationships. For example, she could be seeing someone else and hiding it from you because she is not sure how to tell you. She needs to work on an open, honest relationship...

Congrats on having a new baby. It sounds like the baby will have lots of positive adult attention growing up. As for coming out, I think you will have to come out big (full story) instead of small (bits and pieces dropped every now and then). I have a feeling you will get many different types...

Culturally, it is acceptable for men to have many straight sexual encounters and it is ok for women to be a little bisexual. (Think of the sterotypical porn movie.) So a MFF threesome is considered mostly acceptable by society and so I think that is why bisexual women are in high demand...

Maybe ask her to give you a call at a certain time later on in the evening to check in so she can tell you if she knows how long she will be out. For the first few dates, I think it is natural to want to know the specifics of what you can expect. I think as time goes on, people can get use to...

It is sad when insecurity leads to this. I think all you can really do is be there to emotionally support your husband in this (which is sounds like you are doing).I hope it works out though.

Yeah, that is tough. However, I think that long term, the best way to deal with it is with everything out in the open. Maybe talk about polyamory around L and H and see what they think. I generally try to act by putting myself in everyone's place. Since H has a big chance to be hurt by this, I...