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It's hard to say how much she understands the limit on her sleeping with her boyfriend alone. Have you discussed your feelings with her? Have you asked her what she feels? Does she have one-on-one sex with you? If not, then it's likely she is craving the intimacy of one-on-one sex. I 'm...

Ugh, sorry you are going through this. These people do not seem ready for any type of poly relationship, let alone a triad! You deserve better than this! I would trust your gut. Cut and run! Coming from a person in a long term triad, the way I see it is they are treating you with an...

This is my problem exactly. Our relationship is normal, relaxed. We have worked through our issues by communicating, just like everyone suggests. But in the beginning, as I was trying to find more information, there was so much negativity about triads in the online poly community I seriously...

I realize its all just anecdata to most of you, but I've been a triad for nearly 3 years. It started as the serendipitous type of triad. We are very happy, stable, raising a family etc. We have absolutely no poly friends, have never been to any poly meetups, and don't know any poly people in...

Well, I think I my situation is similar, but it's hard to say, as you haven't described the makeup of the romantic involvement. Are you all romantically involved? Particularly, are your husband and this other man romantically involved? If so, then my situation is similar, except I (a woman)...

So, what happens if the person you tried to have a triad with doesn't have an easy time getting over the 'awkwardness'? What if they want no contact with you (and only contact with your spouse) if the relationship doesn't work out? Dating separately seems a better idea, but without...

Perhaps 'dominating' wasn't the best word for me to use. My husband isn't dominating either, but when he is with us we have a different kind of sex than when my gf and I are alone. She and I do things when it's just the two of us that we don't bother to do when he is there, if you catch my...

So now that you have decided that you will work through your insecurities and allow them to have sex without you, are you also dropping the vice versa rule? I've been in a triad for awhile and it is very important for us to have couple time. Especially me and my gf, because when all 3 of us...

This is not right Please listen to what everyone else is saying here. I am in a triad, and we are currently trying to conceive a baby. It is my girlfriend who will carry the child and there is no way I would ever ask her to pretend the child was biologically mine. That is unreasonable!! Our...

I've been in a closed triad for over 2 years. We never intended to get into the relationship, it just kind of....happened. Just like you, none of us had done anything poly-ish in the past. My husband and I were married for 8 years and never did any swinging or anything. We live together, share...

Do you get one-on-one time with her? After a year I think re-negotiation would be an option. Maybe you can start gently, with dates? Then lead up to one on one sex in pairs?

This is completely true, if they were metamours. Clearly the OP entered the relationship thinking they were lovers, not metamours. So how is this 'enforced intimacy'? That is total BS. The woman agreed to a triad. The OP goes around thinking they are in a relationship; therefore the intimacy...

Well, if he has a sexual relationship with D, doesn't he get a say too? It seems maybe your husband has NRE with this man. Even though your husband admitted to trying to 'control' the relationship, it could be that he is falling for D romantically and feeling left out. That might explain why...

"Piping up" here! I am in a FMF triad that's over 2 years old. I think JaneQSmith is absolutely right about most of 'us.' I'm not in a poly community in my area. In fact, I don't know any other poly people in real life. I only know of this forum, as I looked for something when we first got...

I realize that the beginning of a triad is quite a difficult time when it comes to sorting out emotions. I have been in your shoes. My triad is ~2 years old with my husband and my girlfriend. First, try to think of her as your girlfriend, not our girlfriend. I know this sounds small, but it's...

I can't agree enough with nycindie, you need to get out! The whole thing smacks of abuse! Forcing you to quit your job so you are dependent on him? That is very controlling behavior. Also, from what you are describing Jessi is not the one you should be mad at! Shane is the one who is...

I've read this entire thread, and I just keep thinking that this poor woman is about to be dumped by two incredibly selfish people! She has been dating FullofLove for 12 years, stuck by you through the birth of two children, takes care of your kids for free!! All this, and now she's an...

First, I'm very sorry to hear about your situation. You sound like you are in a lot of pain, which is understandable. I'm not sure your history with poly but I wonder if Leaf has heard of the term New Relationship energy (NRE)? NRE is very powerful, that rush of feeling you get when you...

Oh, this is not right. I am in a relationship with my girlfriend and husband, so I understand the difficulties splitting up household chores in a triad. Do you have a concrete list of chores, divided by person? This can really help, especially when one person is at home all the time, then...

I'm very sorry you're new triad is experiencing this. I am also in a MFF triad with my husband and girlfriend. Our relationship is about a year old and we've had quite a few discussions about more children. We currently have one child, who was born prior to our current relationship. Having...