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Yes, the guilt can be ridiculous at times! I think it's just a phase of the relationship, where we're not really having NRE anymore, but we're still concerned that everyone's feelings are constantly 'positive,' which is crap, because in what relationship is every person happy all the time...

I'm in a MFF triad, and our 'rules' change all the time! It is nice of them to worry about your feelings so much, but people do change over time. In my opinion, one of the tests of a relationship is if all the people can grow and change (as they MUST) and still love each other. I find that we go...

Yes, I do believe her feelings of insecurity stem from low self esteem. I won't get into it on a public forum, but suffice it to say she has a history of abuse, although its been many years since she's been in that situation. I actually don't think she is more interested in my husband. Before...

For us jealousy still rears its head from time to time. Much of it is that my girlfriend often feels we would 'be better off without her' and she worries that we don't need her. Which of course isn't how I feel. I want her, but I also want time with my husband. I want her to not feel angry...

I'm sorry you are being treated this way. I'm in a triad with my husband and my girlfriend. We are not a vee, but a triangle. I think that is the key to how our relationship works. Given that he and I have been married for 10 years, and she has been with us for a year, it can be a struggle...

As a fellow graduate student (but in the physical sciences) I'm happy to assist you (i.e procrastinate on my own work). Have you chosen the theorists you will use? I'm thinking the authors of 'Ethical Slut' might be good for the feminist view. There is also the author of 'sex at dawn' or...

We sleep three to a bed most nights. It's a bit complicated sometimes, especially when it comes to blankets. I tend to sleep in the middle, because I'm the one who gets coldest. My husband can NOT sleep in the middle because he sweats way too much. It is nice, but it also helps to have a...

So, I'm guessing that the child you conceived with this woman is out there somewhere? You could pursue some amount of custody of this child. You can get a court order for a DNA test and that would give you parental rights to this child. I understand your desire to have 50%+ of childcare...

No, you are not misunderstanding. If a triad is to work then each relationship has to develop. Otherwise the person coming in will always feel like an outsider. How are you supposed to feel when they say 'us' as in the two of them? In reality, I would rather have 'us' mean all three of us...

I actually waffled when writing that too! I refer to my husband as such because he is my husband. Our girlfriend does not wish to be married. She has stated many times that she isn't interested in marriage and never planned to marry (even before meeting us). Despite her saying this I do...

There are many things going on in your post, and as it is late I don't have time to respond to all of them, but I will try to hit the major points. I think your issues are larger than time management between dyad time and tryad time. It sounds like there is a communication gap going on in all...

I think it's very important that you stand up for your needs now, rather than wait it out. If she is this possessive now, I imagine pregnancy will only make that worse. Pregnancy hormones can be very overwhelming and can make any relationship hard. I can only imagine trying to work out a new...

This really is the heart of the issue for me. I've identified as bisexual since high school. After dating both men and women in college I met my husband and we married. Suddenly I was defined as straight! People who knew me to have girlfriends in the past would mention it to me as my...

It truly does take an enormous amount of empathy to pull off a triad. Of course people are going to be full of NRE. I guess one thing that helped us was that our girlfriend was more into women than men before joining us. This meant that I didn't start out feeling like I was somehow 'letting...

When you say triad do you mean a full triangle, with emotional and sexual relationship between all partners? Or do you mean a V? The jealousy you are describing makes me think V. In my experience, our triad functions such that we don't need to tell the others that such person will be there...

In the example Cirxe gives, I am confused as to why she doesn't know they are having sex. She is right in the room. Do they have to ask permission if she is right there? If my lovers are initiating sex and I'm right there it would seem awkward for them to stop and ask. She also puts it as...

I'm also in a triad. We find it works best if we all sleep in the same bed. We have a king-sized bed that fits all three of us. If all three of us are in bed, then the sex is almost always between all three. Certainly no one ever sleeps on the floor. We have sex in pairs too, but this is...