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A week sounds like a LONG time to me. Everyone is different of course, but I can definetely feel for you. A couple of hours and even 1 or 2 days I think I could be ok with, but waiting more than that for some special attention from him when he has been gone would be excrutiating for me. Glad he...

It sounds to me like this may be something that she has to work through with her husband and there is probably not much you can do. One thing though is to just be EXTREMELY honest and open and just let her know that you will not do anything without her knowledge and that you are not there to...

Unicorn, coming from the perspective of the "wife" or "primary" I hope I can ease your anxiety a little bit. I know that in my own trainwreck situation if my husband's love had told me up front (or almost) that she didn't want things to progress any farther without me being onboard, that would...

Wow. Disillusioned, I think you are failing to fully realize that people have free will. Yes, most "civilized" cultures encourage monogamy and often present it as the only option. However, all people have a choice as to how they want their relationships to be and who they want them to be with...

Thanks Chris! Those words mean a lot and the list of considerations are very helpful. We are still in the very early stages of this adventure, but we are doing better day by day. ;)

I can completely empathize with you on this. I feel like J (my husband) and I have stopped taking each other for granted and that is certainly a good thing, but the fear of being abandoned can be very tough at times. My husband also reassures me when I get panicky and I think that for now that...

Thanks Sage!

Panic and Insecurity The panic and my insecurities are really getting to me. It was on 1/31/11 when I found out that he was cheating on me and I keep going from OK for a few days and then back to a blinding panic that fills my stomach with knots and makes me incapable of anything other than the...

Thanks Catbird! I like your avatar picture. The other reason for my name is that it can be taken to mean that I am complicated...which I am. lol.

My name "ladyintricate" is from an e. e. cummings poem which I will post for you. I have honestly been using this name online since I was in high-school (31 now!) :eek: I love poetry in general and this name is great because it is pretty much NEVER taken by someone else. Enjoy the poem...

Hello and welcome sohuman and cochordian! I am very new to polyamory myself. One thing I can tell you is that there are a lot of people here with amazing success stories and very helpful advice. The main thing I have found here so far is understanding. Not complete understanding, but a much...

I feel for you and you are being incredibly brave! You and Jen sound like you have a very similar relationship to mine and my husband's (and a similar situation - we were mono happily for a long time). I can tell just from reading what you both have written on here that you both love each other...

Much love to all! Thanks so much everyone. Your words and the dialogue in general have helped me get some perspective and feel some much needed support. We don't know anyone in our area (Houston, TX) that is polyamorous (although I am sure they are here) and all that the few friends I have told...

Thanks I am taking in a lot here and trying to be understanding to my husband and at the same time figure out what I need. We have decided together that we both very much want our marriage to work out. We love each other very much and we have been through a LOT together before this and...

I want to clarify: In the time before he told me he was poly (this was also before he realized it fully himself) and we were completely monogamous up to that point, to when he told me he was poly- to now, I have always encouraged communication with my husband and honesty. I have always said that...

BlackUnicorn and Kreeativ, Thank you for your supportive words. We talked about it a LOT. I wanted to be very clear and I was (he has told me that himself). At the point where I first found out he was poly and that he had kissed this other woman (I will call her A.) I was very hurt and upset...

I am a mono female who is trying to figure out if I can be in a poly relationship. :confused: I have a long post (sorry) about the specfic details that brought me to thinking about poly under the New to Poly section if you want to look. I will try to keep it short here. My husband and I are...

Hello Taiel. I am a mono woman who is in a similar situation to yours. I don't know that I will be much help except to empathize with you because I am basically in the exact same place. My husband and I have been married for 12 years (first and only "love" for me) and he had an affair with...

My husband and I have been married for 10 years and have two kids together. Two years ago he kissed a woman that he worked with and I found out about the kiss. I confronted him and was very hurt because I felt up until that point that we had a loving and honest relationship. It was very...