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The thing is, BDSM does speak to me, and with another partner, I have done some stuff that I never would have dreamed of doing a couple of years ago - very fun, and liberating. Which is why it's even more interesting to me why this triggers me so much. Maybe it's because his relationship with...

thanks for your input, it's good to read that it's not that uncommon for a person to have 2 very different dynamics going on. Also, yes, I should rake his word for it. There is absolutely no evidence that what he and I have, isn't working.

The thing is.. what I keep thinking about... how is that jewelry any different from my wedding ring, or from the stuff he sees in my apartment when he comes over, the things that are obvious signs of the intimacy between me and my husband? All these things are just what they are: evidence of the...

I really like this!

I don't feel disrespected. He told me right at the start that he and her have 'rules' (it's not a 24/7 D/s dynamic as far as I can tell) but that the rules don't apply whenever he's with me. He makes plans with me without consulting her etc. He wears the jewelry during the day so when we meet...

It's been a while since I posted. Poly life has been mostly good and uneventful. However, this recently changed and now I am in need of advice, feedback, and a place to hash out my thoughts about something I can't really get a grip on. A little background: I am a firm believer in 'keeping...

Hi from another person very familiar with feelings of anxiety the way you just described. It SUCKS. I wanted to share the strategy that I've been applying lately and that does seem to relieve the worst of it a bit - for me. In my experience, beating myself up about the fact that I am anxious or...

For me there would be a difference between me saying "I only have time to see a new lover once every 2 weeks, so hey new lover if you are okay with that, let that be the schedule" and the fact that it is the rules of the marriage of new lover which dictates that I can only see new lover once...

I will readily admit to being a bit of an NRE junkie. BUT.... I also think that part of that is because I have not found the person yet with whom I can build a strong partnership (besides the one I already have with my husband). In the mean time, I enjoy dating, making new connections, flirting...

It is very interesting to me that for many people it is normal to have lovers over to the house you share with your partner, when partner is also there. To me this is NOT a normal aspect of (my) poly life and it never will be. My husband and I have very few restrictions and boundaries when it...

Why are you the only one who has to make plans to be somewhere else? It's your house too right? You guys need to sit down and make a schedule. If he has the 'right' to have people over then you have the 'right' to have the house to yourself every now and then, especially on nights where you have...

if his parents are rude, inconsiderate, pushy people who gossip and have no problems saying very hurtful things to their son - they are just that, rude pushy inconsiderate people. It is not the poly issue that is bringing this out in them. It doesn't sound like a very healthy parent-child...

My bf of 7 months suffers from depression and I suffer from anxiety... boy there's a nice pattern going on here on this thread :) He's on meds, and I've noticed his decrease in being connected with me - we've gone from a lot of emailing and texting to practically nothing. My anxiety makes it...

Do you feel that it changes anything in the way he is interacting with you? Is he less attentive, spending less time with you, etc.? In my book, that would be something I would address. "Hey, something's changed, and I don't like it. Can we talk about this?" But if his relationship with you is...

He asked me 'what the rules where'. He's very very new to poly. I told him there are no rules, as far as I'm concerned, except honesty - and a preference, that I like major things to be discussed in person and not over email. He agreed and told me he felt the same. I don't know! He IS another...

revisiting this thread because it looks like I'm in the same situation - well not quite - but with a different guy. Brig and I have been dating for a little more than 3 months now. He has no experience with poly. He seems perfectly fine with the fact that I'm married and have other (not very...

Sorry for disappearing from this thread. I've been thinking so much about this. MeeraReed, you are right - he did treat me poorly. And it is easy to forget about that, and only remember the good stuff. But - there was a lot of good stuff. We've been exchanging - sporadic - emails. His tone...

My bf C and I broke up last summer. The full story is in my blog, the short version is this: I was his only partner for over a year, then he met someone who slowly became his primary, I felt neglected (and I was), the dynamic of our relationship changed so much that it finallly became too hard...

Thinking a lot about the scarcity / abundance theory lately. I would love, so much, to view my life as being abundant with love, friendship and all sorts of good stuff. Because it IS. Yet it seems so very hard to shake the feelings of being neglected, of not being wanted, of there not being...

I always wear my wedding ring. (But I've noticed, from reading many international forums, that in my country (somewhere in Europe) people pay much less attention to wedding rings). Whenever someone starts to flirt with me, the conversation tends to drift to love and relationships pretty soon -...