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Had a really long and difficult phone conversation with C last night. I've been thinking about it half the night, discussed it with Ren, and am still not sure what it is that is really happening. I think I am losing my respect for him. He's been with Mollly for 6 months now and he still...

There's a big difference though in 'exchanging important information' and 'sharing every detail'. him: 'I'm a bit stressed, I just had a fight with X. Sorry if I'm a little absent minded. I might have to call her later and talk some more and see if we can work it out' you: 'ok honey, sorry...

Thank you nycindie. That was really nice to read this morning. I woke up very sad and worried. I think it looks like C and I are about to break up. Have to run now, will write more later. but it makes me feel good that my complicated thought process are read by someone across the ocean. The...

That sounds like the very best weekend ever. It's one of my fantasies to stay in a beautiful cottage somewhere for a month and have all my loved ones visit me, including dinners with my best friends, sexy times with lovers, etc. I laughed at your description of worrying about the owners. I once...

I was thinking of you the other day and realized I was missing your updates. Glad to hear from you. in the 4 years I've been doing poly, which isn't very long, one thing I've learned it's never uneventful for a long stretch of time. But I'm sorry to hear about the troubles you've been having...

I've been in a relationship with my husband for about 20 years, monogamous for 16, poly for about 4 years now. I've been with both my BFs for about 18 months. My husband has been with his GF for about 2 years. I cannot imagine living another way anymore. There are lows, but there were lows in...

If both you and he really want things to be different, why can't they be different? From what you describe, it seems like you are the only one who wants things to change. Your situation sounds like something I would not put up with for a week, let alone years. Well, in my poly life, things are...

Ha. Thanks for this. I suddenly realized it's entirely possible my BF's new GF googled me as well, and is now lamenting to her girlfriends that BF's other lover is so sexy and curvy while she's so skinny. Yes, it's a minefield for sure!

I'm sorry you're also going through this Hannah! I had some good talks with my other lover MrBrown (see previous posts) about the whole thing yesterday. He made me realize that what I wrote upthread: I suppose to me it feels like our relationship has shifted and changed, but I am the only one...

awesome, awesome date with MrBrown :) still glowing and smiling, he has just left my house. Great talks, some about stuff that is hard for me to talk about, but it seems that with him I can talk about anything. He makes me think, he makes me question, he makes me look at things from a different...

My husband's GF is thin, very elegant, mysterious, striking and beautiful. I am curvy, sexy, the kind of woman men are attracted to when they get to talk to me, but not the kind people will look at in the street. And personality-wise we could not be more different. When my BF started dating...

need to get my thoughts in order. Hopefully writing here will help. A couple days ago Ren and I were talking about something that might or might not happen a year from now, and he said: would you tell C about that if it happened? And I said 'Of course' but while I said it I felt like a gut...

One of my co workers today was bragging about how he and his wife (together for 10 years) cannot sleep when they're apart. Besides the fact that that sounds very unpractical to me (not just from a poly POV - but what if someone has to go to hospital? visit a relative? gets stuck in traffic...

C had a date with Molly last night, and it was the first time since he started seeing her, that it did not make me feel anxious/ jealous/scared. I was glad he told me about it. When I saw him this weekend, he told me that she had spent the previous weekend withhim. At the time I did not know...

my husband sometimes absent mindedly says something to me in the language he shares with his GF (she's from another country). I always look at him and smile and say 'Wrong girl, honey'.

... and you can talk on my blog, too :) I agree that not all blogs lend themselves to 'chatter'. But I always enjoy when someone comments on mine, and that always makes me think "I should engage in the other blogs more" and then I don't, so I understand where you're coming from!

I was actually thinking about you the other day and wondered how you were doing. I'm glad to hear things seem calmer. Wishing you all the best in moving forward and learning from all your experiences.

My weekend with C was a lot of things.. fun, difficult, light, heavy. We had some great moments and I had some sadness. I'm getting very tired of the continuous processing - it seems like such a long time ago when we just enjoyed each other, without difficult conversations about jealousy, time...

But, how does your wife feel about all this? Is it important to her that you guys meet (not because she senses it's important to you-- big difference here). Do you guys have agreed-on veto power? Because that's what the 'dealbreaker' thing sounds like. If she is okay with you two not meeting...

Thanks FoL and nyc! I like blogging here, it helps me focus on things, and I often find that putting the things that happened into words (in a language that is not my own) helps putting my life in perspective. But sometimes is is nice to hear I am not only talking to myself :) It's Ren's and my...