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Thank you both for your responses. I will check out the references Katrpiller, I do want to heal. The moments I forget for a minute feel so good. LR I have quit smoking and quite frankly it was much easier than this :) But I totally get the reference. I am working on delving more into my...

Also, I wanted to add, that I am feeling like somehow if we could find someone new and start all over again, slow and steady, that somehow this would wash out all the negative stuff...I know thats probably not a good idea, but it feels like it would clear my mind and give me a someone new to...

I posted a few months ago about our poly situation that fell apart after my husband confessed he had been cheating with said girl for 8 mos. The long and the short of it is that I tried to keep her involved. My thinking was that somehow since she was part of the problem, she could be part of...

Update: So after much discussion, tears, screaming, yelling and loving, we have decided to stay together and try to work this marriage out. Also, after a lot of thought on my part, I realized that people are human. I thought about two of my closest friends that are the other women in this...

Hugs

I am still realing from the betrayal of my husband. However I am shocked at her attitude about it. I am so glad that we found out just how crazy she is. I confronted her and I was very angry (obviously) as they had both earned my trust. She contacted my husband and was furious that he gave...

Thank you everyone for your care. I am still working through the feelings and am still numb from all this. I have ran up and down the emotional scale several times. I am a pretty big mess right now, I am not sure where I will end up here. I just cant figure out how I can forgive such...

Never mind. This was all a big lie. They had been cheating behind my back since January and conned me into it. My husband finally came clean. Pretty fucking heart broken right now. Guess I was right. Intuition was right.

Agreed, I have already seen a tiny bit before he asked her to date. I noticed she was acting jealous of other girls, not towards me so much, she accepts me I think, but towards anyone else he might be hanging out with. This is what alerted me. He is aware that she is a little drama, but she...

Hi all, its been awhile since I posted here, like a year ago. At that time we were in what was a possible new relationship, but life happened and she moved on :( I still remain good friends with her, she is just awesome. Since that time we have been living mono, not by choice really, but just...

Loved it! Really helped me to make sense of all this.

Howdy, I am here, but out of town with not so great internet.

It is beautiful. I cant imagine my life without him, and I knew from the start this ride wouldn't be easy. He is exactly what I need to inspire my soul to reach unattainable heights that would never be realized by living a "normal" life. Sometimes it isn't pretty at all, its ugly and...

I don't think you have a bit of trouble conveying your feelings bitter!!! You get straight to my heart every time! Yes you are right, all fairy tales do tell the tale of hardship before the wonderful ending. Thank you for reminding me of this, I do live a fairy tale, sometimes I forget this...

Sometimes its so frustrating, not being able to convey my feelings clearly. Tonight I am feeling irritated about it all, I want to be selfish, I want to be "normal" and I want the fairytale. I am feeling sentimental for the childish dreams I once held. I suppose its no different than wanting...

Trust me, I do not think you sound petty at all. This is what makes your writings so amazing, I am just trying to understand how to do what you do. Thank you for your time explaining things, and your deep insight. Everything you say makes sense, I would love to see you debate Dr. Phil. :)

So what you are saying is that your love of seeing her happy overrides the pain felt by seeing her love all over another guy? That is some powerful love. I suppose I have the same to a different degree, however he has yet to meet someone that has knocked his socks off yet. Even so, I have...

I encourage you to take these writings and collect them together in a book and simply entitle it Love. I am sure you would easily be able to write a series on all the emotions. I would read them all night long.

Kat, I am in the same place you are. Intellectually I understand this, but sometimes the heart refuses. I met my husband 4.5 years ago and really thought about what this relationship might entail before moving on. Ohhh how I underestimated. However, I have also been on a journey to raise...

Wow and wow again. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I literally had to stop reading when I broke down in tears. I fully understand and have had moments of all the moments you describe. Bitter you have a real gift for writing. If you would like to move it to private please do, however I...