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This is a legit point. You can say "I'll always make time for you", and that's something you can, in fact, hold yourself to. But something about specific days may be much harder to keep. Like, what if you fall for someone who initially is free during the week, but then that person has to take a...

Well, I guess I gotta ask, why try then? Is having additional relationships important right now? It would be one thing if you'd already fallen for someone and were trying to make it work, but if your life is already full, why seek to add to it? You can be poly in spirit -- not restricting of...

Willingness to learn, compromise, and express needs are all excellent signs. I continue to think that this will be difficult, but not necessarily impossible. A big test will be how he reacts the first time you actually do get involved with someone else.

To balance things a bit, his request might make some sense from a monogamous point of view, and is a depressingly common starting place even for people who think they're trying to be poly (I don't consider it to actually be polyamory if you can't have a one on one relationship with anyone but...

I think the simplest way to avoid getting/staying involved with a cheater is to reflect on the fact that they're lying to the person they're supposed to love most in the world, so of course they're going to lie to you too, sooner or later. What makes you so much more special than the person that...

Wonderful to hear that you're feeling so much clarity and strength. :)

Glad you're liking the tumblr! I still get a lot out of it, though I'm doing less long-form blogging there these days. I think I just said a lot of what I needed to say. With Gia, I think in part I got tired of describing the same problems over and over. If things aren't changing, what's the...

Also, please allow me to suggest adding an "other" category under gender.

Can you tell us anything about the project that this is for?

"she should" <-- This is the crux of my problem with your advice. She "should" do what's best for her. She's decided that that doesn't include having a sexual relationship with someone who has a history of lying about his safer sex practices (did you miss that part above? kind of a big deal)...

If you really want to try to make this work, take some time to see if it might be possible. Give him the opportunity to talk this through with you, learn about poly (www.morethantwo.com is a great 101 resource), and feel out his initial knee-jerk negative reaction. Maybe that strong negative...

Thanks, BP. :) I've been venturing slightly more into the other sections of the board lately and have been well reminded why I stopped. Ugh, it's emotionally taxing as hell.

Lots of people. If that weren't true, we wouldn't have the STI problems that we do. I meant exactly what I said. I don't see the point of inventing elaborate what-if scenarios and addressing them as if we actually had that level of info about the situation. And I find your questions...

Everyone's level of comfort is going to be different and should be respected. That said, make sure you understand the real dangers and not just what you think they are. For instance, at one time I was worried that my partner's partner, who's a sex worker, was at risk from having unprotected oral...

How about heteroflexible and monoflexible?

Thanks, everyone, it's really pleasant to come back to so much positivity. :)

Also, I've gotta say... why do you even want to be romantically involved with someone who's perfectly willing to make a habit of lying to the face of someone she's supposedly deeply committed to, and who's a good partner to her? Why would you open yourself up to someone who's showing you that...

You say you're willing to consider breaking your moral code to avoid "potential damage". But that potential damage will only increase from what would likely be a temporary hurt if you stop now (Him: "You should have told me right away!") to what will likely be a devastating, scarring...

My gf and I do something like you describe with your sister in law. She and her husband have a two year old, I don't have kids or a primary partner. On an average month, I: - watch her son two evenings and occasionally a weekend day - hang out at their house for dinner two evenings - go out with...

Oh! I should mention also, Dexter is moving out of the country in about a month. It's been coming for a long time, so, while she's sad, Gia has had time to mentally prepare.