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Three months exactly since I last posted on this blog. I started a post once or twice during that time, but then stopped. I just got so burned out on this website. The endless parade of people coming in with the same dysfunctional stories and hurting each other over and over. And then the folks...

You didn't, I was just clarifying my own thoughts on the matter.

To be fair to other people who use BDSM as therapy, it's one thing to ask your partner to tie you with straps because you're afraid of restraints, with the expectation that your partner will stop when you start to show more than a little discomfort. It's another to have a dynamic with your...

For the record, a metamour of mine does this -- uses BDSM with a very-sadistic-but-also-very-loving partner as exposure therapy to work on her phobias. It backfired one time in a massive way, she found herself too terrified to even think to say "red", and the experience actually gave her an...

No sex is risk-free -- sure you may use barriers, but what it a condom slips or breaks? And even with perfect barrier use, there is a not-insignificant chance of getting infected with HPV and HSV. I'm not saying your system isn't the right one for you, I'm just saying that to call a partner's...

Thanks for this, by the way. I hope things worked out well with your job?

Hey, all. I haven't been posting much here because 1) I got burned out on the site, 2) I've been trying to spend less time over-analyzing things, and 3) I've been trying to spend less time online. Brief updates: - Davis and I are good friends who have good sex. We argue over stupid things...

I'm sorry to hear about this. *hug!!!*

He needs to tell her RIGHT NOW. It's highly unethical to let someone think they're in a monogamous relationship when they're not. It's called cheating and lying and makes it extremely hard to have a positive relationship in the long term because it wrecks trust. And not just hers for him... the...

I talked to my boss. She was glad I came to her and we're going to work things out together. Everything is going to be fine. *biggest-ever sigh of relief* In other news, Clay said the other day that the natural and strong D/s dynamic that he and I have actually makes him feel more confident in...

Thanks so much, Nyc. It's been hugely helpful to me to hear other people relate similar experiences... always good to know that, even if you're fucked up, other people have been there too. And your way of thinking about it makes sense, I hadn't thought of it in quite that way. What would I gain...

It's feels like it's been forever since I've been on this blog, but it's really only been a couple of weeks. I've just been so busy. Davis and I have fully reconnected. We're talking and hanging out at the same rate and in the same ways that we used to, and we've gone back to having PIV sex...

Yeah, I don't have time for a long reply, but this guy is married with a kid and rarely sees you, yet doesn't want you to have another serious partner of your prefered gender? And then he has the audacity to say that he's "giving up everything and I am [getting] nothing in return"??? That's just...

Really glad to hear that it was useful!

Hi Polyk2. Good on you for seeking advice and perspectives. I understand that it all must seem puzzlingly negative. It comes from a blend of negative personal experiences, reading of many other's negative experiences with the date-together-or-nothing approach, and weariness with seeing people...

The kinky camping trip with Clay was **AMAZING**! You guys, it was just... well, I'll be posting about it on tumblr shortly if you want details. For the purposes of this blog, suffice to say that I'd been worried that I'd feel weird/ jealous, knowing that I'd meet several of his play partners...

I just wanna say how awesome I think your most recent post was. Communication breakdowns happen. It's how you deal with them that shows the true strength of the relationships you're building. I really admire your approach to the triad structure y'all have found yourselves in. Wishing you the best!

A couple of days ago, we had a big ribbon-cutting event for something I've been working on at my job. Davis came out and we got lunch together afterwards. As we were parting, he hugged me tightly. It was a relief not to feel so physically alienated from him. He says he's doing a lot of...

I don't think it makes sense to feel betrayed, personally. This is a mistake he made in his past, and it sounds like it was a much bigger one than the "physical affairs" that he told you about already. It seems like he had to build up a certain level of trust with you before he could bring...

"But then today he was commenting on wanting time to cuddle her without her talking to her other partner." The potential issue that I see in this is that he's saying that he feels like he can't have one-on-one time with his partner without her other relationship interfering... while allowing...