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Nycindie: I've heard that a lot since moving to the US - people either want to visit or have and loved it. I knew a few people back in NZ, a few Americans and someone from the UK, who did move to NZ and said it was a dream come true. Bold wants to take me to visit NYC sometime, since we're not...

Hindsight is 20/20. Even Bold didn't anticipate how poorly his father would treat me. I underestimated and overestimated a lot of things - I've never immigrated anywhere before and I muddled through it mostly on my own. I was concerned about the possible outcomes before I left home and I sought...

I will give you the benefit of the doubt and consider that maybe (hopefully) you didn't intend for that to come across as judgemental as it sounded. It seems I wasn't clear enough on the fact that I know I am not ready for another relationship right now and that I am working through my issues...

2 Year Marriage Anniversary Update Well, tomorrow it will be 2 years since Bold and I married to begin our life together in the US. I'm not really sure how to continue this post so I'll start with a common question I am asked. Do you like living in the US? No. That's the short answer. The...

Hi Polyt, I'm in a long distance relationship and have been since February 2009. I haven't read all the other posts but I agree with what someone mentioned about using technology to keep in touch an various ways. I'm in a long-long distance relationship - he lives in the US and I live in New...

So it's been about 5 months since I lasted posted here and I thought it was about time for an update. Bold's mother passed away in her sleep suddenly in mid January very unexpectedly and it hit him extremely hard. She was his support person through years of panic attacks, tutoring the last few...

I wouldn't go for a job that I didn't think I was up to - or that would potentially injure me or aggravate physical or emotional illness for me. That's just one of my priorities. Also, doing a job you love is awesome. I hope you can find a good balance and a decision you can be at peace with...

I'm poly (though never have been a practising poly and not looking to start any time soon) and I don't have a religion but I do have spiritual belief based loosely on Kemetic (Egyptian) beliefs. I tend to call myself a Kemetic/Egyptian Pagan because it's easiest to explain to people. I chose...

Selene: Yeah, I think it's valuable for me to be able to focus on him now and not worry about what might happen the next time I get distracted by feelings for someone else and the whole dance starts over. Part of why he struggled with it so much is that he wants me to be happy and fulfilled in...

So, I've been thinking about writing something here for a while now. I'll just recap what has happened before I move onto the time since I last posted here and the present. Curious When I introduced myself here I wasn't sure if I was poly or not, just that I was poly-curious/had tendencies...

Mm, I'm not trying to uncover mysteries of science or human nature, just interested in people's opinions. We might all be just products of our physiology but that is not my personal belief. I like your point about the word love. Maybe non-platonic love should have a different word not related...

Yes, yes, you're completely right. I'm not so much bringing up the "are we poly by nature or by nurture" argument or anything like that - this only really relates to poly as much as the name of the thread does in that I see that question used in poly/mono discussions quite frequently. I'm...

I'm sorry that happened to you, ellie. It's great to see that you're moving on and realising that this is not the end of the world. The post break up heart ache can really swing things out of perspective. You played by his rules and he didn't like the taste of his own medicine. Personally, I...

So you think the brain activity is a case of nurture rather than nature? That we've been socialised to feel that way so we've physically adapted to it? That's an interesting idea I hadn't really thought of before, thanks.

In poly/mono discussion threads I have seen this argument a lot: You can love more than one child/parent/friend/sibling so why not more than one partner? I've used it myself and always got the answer: "It's not the same [type of love]." I was reading Wikipedia (I know, great source of unbiased...

Thank you for saying so. I'm glad that I could convey ideas, thoughts and feelings that all seem very new to me, in this context, in a way that got the message across to someone.

Secondary, primary, poly etc they are all just labels, yes, and they have different meanings to different people. They were all labels I learnt, for ease of reference - not to confine things to a rigid structure, and poly fits more with my natural view of love also. You expressed what I feel...

Sorry if this comes off as critical but it's something I feel a need to ask... Do you feel you have maintained a healthy relationship with your wife? I know that your secondary relationships are important to you as is being free to express yourself as poly-amorous, I completely respect those...

I'm sorry if I wasn't clear. What I was trying to say was that if his wife believes that: "One is to only have feelings for his or her spouse and no one else," (as quoted from his post) then he is already breaking that condition. I never said he was doing anything wrong. Sorry if it came off...

Wow. I have been in the same place you are (emotionally) just very recently, cruftnot. Everyone is different so please note that I only speak from my own experience here. I noticed a few things... "Permission". Is she the Queen of the relationship? Considering her feelings is important...