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There was a point, in the after, that W and I were fighting yet again (the end of the relationship didn't end the problems) and it got so intense - his blood pressure dropped or went up to such a level that he lost conciousness and collapsed. That was about the point where we both realized...

For a while the fighting in my marriage got so bad that it was physically affecting us. In retrospect - the whole disaster was not about his relationship, but about how he treated me and how he justified other people's treatment of me/our relationship. Its beyond hard to get any perspective...

The sound of a high pitched squeal in my ears - aka tinnitus... UGH It gets worse when tv's and monitors are on... *sigh* Other than that - whatever is on the local radio station. I can't quite hear it so am not sure... But... I'd like the tinnitus to go awaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy....

I agree - monogamy is 'easier' if you're not already in love with 2. Monogamy is 'easier' if you have a lot of social/family pressures. Monogamy is 'easier' if you have a lot of time constraints. Relationships happen though - and its all about learning to communicate and work effectively...

addiction

Anyone else see the poly overtones between Callie, Arizona and Mark?

Had a great conversation with a woman the other night. She's poly, in 3 relationships, and we have a lot in common. Right now, I'm happily exploring friendships, with no expectation of more. She's cute, though. I can't stop staring at her lips when I see her in person. :p

Skype, webcam, Messenger? Blah. That sucks. I'm going to have a hard enough time with my daughter 5 hours away if she gets pregnant. :(

I had a man tell me this once. I was with him for 2.5 years off and on. The problem is - he was trying, non-consensually, to put me in a D/s-M/s type relationship. He told me flat out once... "What makes you think its about you? What makes you think you have any say in the matter?" There...

One thing I have learned: Not blogging, not getting outside opinions, not being able to express what was going on for ME (even if it was my choice) messed ME up. It wasn't good for me. I relate to you on so many levels... I understand how you feel. And I believe you need to continue taking...

Fantastic day with hubby & kids today. He's waiting for me to kick his ass at backgammon. We had some phenomenal talks in the last couple days, working through the fissures and fractures that are so close to healed. It's awesome. I've heard that when you break a bone, the healed part is much...

rope

Turquoise and purple :p If you go to FB and look for "Squamish Womens Roller Derby" you can see them. I'm fresh meat and we haven't done a photo shoot yet :p

Short answer - but only if the abuser wants to change. Long answer - habits and ways of interacting are fairly ingrained and changes will be slow and sometimes painful. The pain of being abusive has to outweigh the pain of changing the abusive behaviour for it to take effect. I have seen it...

Checked out my derby team colours... they're the same colours as my collar and cuffs :p

Everything was abundantly clear in your PM to me several months ago. It remains clear, a choice was made before the relationship between them ended and I was left floundering. None of it was your fault or your responsibility, and I'm not going to go into any of it. I still have parts of that...

Dusted this blog off... Ariakas once posted on my (other) blog that my updates were awesomely vague. I was vague on purpose, sorta. I couldn't talk about what I was experiencing during P&W's relationship, or really even after. The closest I came to talking about what I was feeling was a note on...

agreement

In all honesty - I thought my "ideal" would be for myself or my husband to date someone who was already married, or who already had a 'primary'. The reality is - that unless the person you're dating is respectful of YOUR life - and you are respectful of THEIRS - there's going to be conflicts...

My advice is to do what's best for YOU. He wants her. You don't. He wants to stay with her. You don't want what's currently going on. You have no right to make a decision for THEM, unless you and hubby have set up with veto, but that doesn't sound like its the case, but you do have a right...