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Sounds to me that you need input from your girlfriend. What does she want? He gave you control over you guys side of things, not hers so she needs to have a say in this. After all you are going to her city.

nycindie, I think that was directed towards me. It has nothing to do with keeping this simple really. It's my opinion on where complexities come about. I'm not the best at explaining myself sometimes. I'm taking an economics course and to me I see the same laws apply to different people coming...

I don't deny that people have been through similar and sometimes I identical situations. Situations don't make the outcome or experience. The individuals with their contraints make and experience what it is. So because of this the same situation can and does lead people to different emotions and...

Honestly we really are all unique. Things that are simple to one are scary and confusing to the other and vice versa. Our experiences shape us and as numerical combinations show us... We can go through similar things, yet throw in a different variable and the whole equation is morphed into...

That was a big concern for me. The possibility of him not seeing the toxicity. We had it happen once and that is a situation I'd be glad not to revisit. The talk has made me feel a deeper connection which is hard to believe because we are so close already. It's great. I have found that I need...

Sorry I can't quote you GS. I am using my phone for this. To answer why I feel threatened. We spoke in great detail last night. One of the topics was specifically her and the reaction I am having to her. I think it's alarms ringing inside of me that she is unhealthy to be around. Meaning her...

This kind of coincides with thoughts I've been throwing around about my fears about my partner having attractions and my own feelings. For me I seem to want to make everything about commitment. That's the big one for me. Attractions or love on it's own... Not so scary. But we have been taught...

Wow, that makes alot of sense. She very much prances around every married or taken man on the property and it does leave a bad taste in my mouth because she is so obviously doing it for attention and I have to admit I do feel insecure at times which is strange for me. It doesn't happen often and...

Hmm.. Maybe I should have posted in the jealousy thread.

Hi all. Never thought I'd be making a post on here again, but here I am. I am poly, but no longer living the lifestyle. My fiance left me and my boyfriend and I agreed to be mono. There are 2 main reasons for this. 1) What we have is amazing and it fufills both our needs. 2) Our attempt at poly...

Look at you with a Facebook! I'll look you up tonight!

Yes, I read what was going on, but still didn't want to post on here, and couldn't remember your email. So I sent Maca a message on Facebook. Hehe You brought me out of the dark. It just feels weird to post on here now, ya know. Your agreement sounds like the perfect way to handle this...

Oops, we posted at the same time. That is really great, LR.

Yes, we have children also, so I understand and did not mean absolutely no contact. I meant put the brakes on until both of you can better handle this. It only feeds the cycle, and agreements will continue to be broken.

NYC, I thought the very same thing when I read that. It's deflection. There's that saying about doing the same thing and expecting different results. Contracts at this point are just setting everyone up for failure. I don't think either of you are stable enough to follow through. Until each of...

I'm coming out of lurking for this one. What a vicious cycle this is! I have been through two of these in less than a year. One failed. One is healing and progressing. I would like to share what I have learned from my experiences. If it applies, great, if it doesn't, dismiss it. This back and...

Yes they are divorced. It's not really about him looking like a good dad. It's more of if he is 5 minutes past what the custody papers say she will try to say he is in contempt. She is always chomping at the bit to take her away from him. Which I think is very stupid of her. He is an amazing father.

He is actually mono. I'm the only poly. She doesn't know that we are together, but she has her suspicions. The thing about her is she was very controlling when they were together. He wasn't allowed to go anywhere with out her. He lost all of his female friends. Ect ect. When he left her she hid...

You know I've actually been thinking and I realize now that there was more to my hurt feelings than we covered. Right now I know that I have a fear of what our life will look like for the next 14 years with the control she has over him. I didn't realize it was there, but subconciously I have a...

RP, how about a slumber party with your son after you're all settled in? Movies, snacks, a couple of lazy games. Mono, I so know how you feel about people in your space. Bud's friend may be sleeping over Saturday night and I hate it, but I agreed. I just let him know I will be sleeping in my...