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He is already on Wellbutrin for depression. As for marriage counseling, he won't go to counseling, marriage or otherwise. I am not sure why he wants me to leave him. He is my third husband. I am done with ever getting married again. If he wants to leave, he can. I will help him pack. I'm tired...

Thankfully J is not a texter. B, I know him. This is word for word what he would say to me face to face. B is being insane. He's overreacting and he's acting badly. I am totally embarrassed by his behavior. When it's just the two of us and he's an idiot I'm ok, but to bring J into this is not...

Thanks, NYCindie! It just goes from bad to worse to almost comical. I had to text J and warn him that B is on an insane texting warpath, threatening, and I quote: “He wins, I lose, no hard feelings, and I hope he can make you happier than I ever did,” and not to engage with him. I can't win...

Yes, I am quoting myself, because, as I expected, I just got a text from B. "Don't end it with J. I won't forgive myself if I take your fun away." I really need a head-banging smiley.

The other thing I need to add is that B has many women friends that he talks to emails, IMs and texts with DAILY, and he thinks that's ok, since while they want to have sex with him, he doesn't want to have sex with them, and he does not want to give those friendships up. But I can't be friends...

deep sigh... I just came from seeing B at lunch. IT DID NOT GO WELL! I told him I would end it with J, and I meant it. He told me that he can't ask me to do that, because he wants to still be in the lifestyle (swinging) because he likes watching me, and what kills him is that J does not like...

No, he is not great at reading. I told him about this place, but he's just currently shutting down on me. I have told him, but I will ask him if he wants to read it. If he says yes, I will show him. I love B so much. It kills me that I want (and maybe NEED) to do something that is hurting him...

True. Very true. And the thing is, while I could easily be poly, I could just as easily be mono. I am flexible to a fault.

*deep sigh* I doubt my husband will ever be ready, truthfully. Our relationship is good. It's the husband that's not. B just has to many issues, and this makes me so very sad, because I would never want to have J as a primary. I would never want to be mono with J. I could easily be mono with B...

B is having a hard hard hard hard time. My piss-poor handling of Saturday night's drunken texting and phone call is truly impacting negatively on how B is coping. B has "decided" he no longer wants to be in "the lifestyle." But when I say ok, he backs down. Then he says, "Well, I'm not going...

I don't think I would be comfortable having all my contact with someone monitored.....

Sounds exciting, new and fun. Best of luck!

Yes, I could, but I have an emotionally disabled adult child, so I make sure he can always reach me, as needed. But my phone stays downstairs and we sleep upstairs. So had we gone to bed already, we never would have seen the text or emails. Againm I see now how badly I handled this. It was just...

Yes, you are correct. This did upset him, as he told his friend on the computer (and he showed me). I did handle that very badly. Of course, both B and I were working on minimal to no amounts of sleep from the night before. To be honest, J's text was to see if I could call, and he would have...

I hear you. Sometimes I feel like the only grown up in this mess. It's so new to all of us. With B and me being swingers, we always played together. Occasionally I would encourage him to "go get her out of your system." Never did it occur to me that there was such a thing as a polyamorous...

B is having major issues. He has self-esteem problems. He feels ugly and unlovable since he has lost so much weight and his skin is so saggy. I get that. I have the same problem. I would love for him to get some therapy, but I am not going to be able to force it with him, sadly. I hope that...

Today has been a struggle. B is soul searching, and we are stressing about it. We went to a party where a lot of the folks know J. They also know I am starting a relationship with him, and wanted to know how yesterday went. B was stressed. He's wondering now if he even wants to continue...

B is struggling so hard to be fair. He has bad self image, no self esteem. He thinks maybe he might want to go back to a conventional marriage and stop swinging. We are just learning about polyamory, to be honest. He is trying to let me do this. Another post to explain tonight's mess is...

Thanks. I'm just doing the best I can.

I think I'm going to need a place to put all my stuff, my thoughts and feelings and what happens. I need to keep this part of my life here for several reasons. Yesterday I kissed hubby (B) goodbye and got in my car and drove 2 hours to see my new friend (J). It was our first time together...