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SK, have you read this week's article? The comments are so much more constructive and I'm having some lovely convos. Check it out! But I agree, it's difficult. For next week's article, my editor wants to know how and why Nudge and my coworkers know. This has been a hard one to write.

I also think Nudge's response was good...in part, because he is my partner and its interesting to see that by our posts on this particular thread you can see two parties of a couple dont even have the same out look on it. Of coruse, in my original comment I only address my thoughts on J and...

lol. what about spermacide or the female condom? (i dotn know much about either) OR...you know..dont have um....sex that can get you pregnant...their are otehr options. lol

I am so sorry to hear this. :( Nudge and I have already had the work fallout. Everyone knows. We did get a lot of crap and got in some hot water etc. But actually, he DID have to come to the hospital with me once and his boss was nice about it. (I'd been in a car accident). Hopefully one day we...

Id suggest doing some readign and research and try to figure out what you want, do you want sex (swinging), relationships with or without sex (poly), etc? And make sure she knows you'll be pissed about the sex thing ;) There are always speed bumps, but conversation can avoid some of them

This :)

I hope this works out well for him, Nudge and I have had quite the work experience (though we are still together, which i think our normalness helps calm the masses a little) we get quite a lot of judgemnet, gossip, we even got in trouble so to speak. the office is a dangerous place! I hope...

Good policy, bookbug. So, in my example of the girl I smoke with outside, she can think what she will when I mention Nudge, and perhaps I'd tell her if we crossed into actual friends territory? I find this topic very interesting. I will probably bring it up with Nudge on the way home from work. :)

I find this interesting. What are you guys looking for in poly? I am a very sexual person and enjoy being with both nudge and j...will it be bothersome to you if you get less sex than you like from your wife, but she is with other people? though i guess the flip side of that is that you'll be...

I hear you! J gets this because I have an LTR with Nudge, and J currently doesn't have anyone, though not by choice. But he gets the "Oh... so your wife has a boyfriend?" I'm also always surprised when I tell people we are open (which, like you said, using poly seems to be loaded) and they ask...

Well, this case was someone from a different floor/company. Nudge and I have already experienced the fallout in our own office. We almost got fired, actually. There is now a policy in place for coworkers dating, but we have faced a lot of judgement from people for being married and dating...

Ahhh...yeah you are correct. I must have read that part too quickly.

agreed, I know J wouldnt leave me, and if a cowgirl was with him it would be up to him to end it if he felt she was putting to much pressure on him, the other person can feel whatever they which. I trust J to lay down the line

are you reading and researching while you wait? Especially with jealousy, books on non-monogamy can be very helpful. I feel "the ethical slut" has a great chapter on jealousy, also morethantwo.com has great articles too. if its what you really want, get educated and bring it back up when you...

I can agree with you Jane, just the other day i told Nudge someone ressurected and older post of mine on here having to do with my relationship with his wife, i sheepishly asked that he not read it, while it wasnt inflammatory he didnt need to see what was said there. He agreed, and I fully...

I think ya just need to take the plunge, I dont see what waiting is getting you here

"Coming out" to acquaintances/strangers Hi, everybody. So, today I have a general poly question that's been on my mind, in part because I now have a weekly poly column and this week's column is about "coming out." Case in point: Nudge and I work together. I was just outside talking to a girl...

Id have to agree with London here, while some things can be hard and i do appreciate my husband feelings, im not going to neglect Nudge's to secure Js. Early on, Nudge and I were on one of our first big dates, out late, and in the midst of it he started a text convo with his spouse...I was not...

I'd agree with you Marcus, but im curious if she meant they have an actual master/slave dynamic, or do some d/s in the bedroom. I do some d/s with both my guys, but it never leaves the bedroom, so has no impact on our regular lives or other relationships. I wouldnt be ok with that

I agree with Marcus. when i asked my husband to be poly, I asked him to swallow the whole pill at once because i DID want to have sex with Nudge, not just hang out with him. beating around the bush just insulted him because he already really knew we wanted to have sex, our actually doing it was...