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Some people can't tolerate being touched by another human being. Sometimes that's because of a sensory integration disorder, autism spectrum disorder, or something along those lines. (A child in my family couldn't even tolerate being tapped on the shoulder, let alone anything like a hug or kiss...

I don't personally know of any situations like that, but I have seen mention on various groups of people having children with partners outside their primary relationship, and there weren't any serious issues. I've also seen one or two mentions of arrangements where the mother didn't know which...

As was pointed out to you in your other thread, you don't have the right to tell him when and with whom he has sex. You only have the right to determine when and with whom *you* have sex. So no, it wouldn't be okay for you to say, "I don't want you to have sex with her before our dates." It...

What you do now is tell him what you've said here. You feel like you and he are at different levels in what you want from this relationship, and you need to either find a middle ground or end the relationship. You *don't* "have to spend more energy; you're choosing to by choosing to think you...

You seem fixated on "I have to have sex with him first." To me, that definitely seems to be a monogamous mindset. While I can understand not wanting to have sex with him the same day he's had sex with someone else, I don't really understand why it makes a difference who he has sex with first...

That bolded bit is exactly what it is for me. I have a difficulty comprehending what someone says to me; there's a glitch somewhere between my ears and my brain that prevents some information from getting where it needs to go. (In other words, an auditory processing disorder; the previous is how...

I've still been doing a lot of work on myself, and I am making progress. But some things still bother me, and I'm starting to figure out what is reasonable and unreasonable for me to accept from other people. (Reasonable and unreasonable *for me*. It's a subjective thing.) I've hung out with...

MsEmotional, in some ways your relationship with Whiskers sounds like what I dealt with when I was seeing Facets. He almost never initiated conversations when we weren't together (I can only think of one time he did, and that was to let me know he was running late for an event we were both going...

"Too soon" is EXTREMELY subjective. It has nothing to do with whether you're poly or mono; it has only to do with *you* as a person. (Where "you" means "anyone," not specifically MsEmotional.) For me, "too soon" to have sex with someone is before I feel comfortable with them. But I tend not to...

I barely see my husband. Because of his work schedule and his choices about sleeping, gaming, etc., it's typical for us to go a week or more only seeing each other for the minute or so it takes him to give me a hug and kiss on his way out the door to work. And it's not unusual for us to go 2-3...

In my opinion, unless it's previously established, no one has any right whatsoever to go through a partner's phone, overnight bag, emails, etc. Being in a relationship, even one that includes a piece of paper and a pretty, shiny ring, doesn't automatically negate someone's right to privacy. If...

I actually do cross that line when it's warranted. My boyfriend is a "relationship as part of my life" person; he and I have made commitments to each other, and I consider him a large part of my life. It was the same with Facets, and with S2 way back when I dated him. I just have a different...

I have fibromyalgia, and I refuse to take the generally-prescribed medications for it. I take naproxen at bedtime, and I take ibuprofen during the day if the pain is really bad, but that's it. I share a bed with Hubby when I'm at home, and once a week (most weeks) I share a bed with my...

Different strokes... I can't understand *wanting* to meet metamours. I'm in a relationship with my partner, not with their other partners. I'm fine knowing they exist, but meeting them is far from my preference. I also, to be honest, don't understand the reasoning behind having a partner hang...

To me, part of the definition of "friend" is someone I can call up (or text; I prefer texting to phone calls) just to say "Hey, how's it going?" and not have a specific reason for getting in touch, and someone who feels comfortable doing the same with me. If I can't do that with someone, they...

Tinwen, not sure if you're referring to me (I do have an extremely introverted monogamous husband), but I wouldn't consider my husband to be secondary, mainly because I don't do hierarchy in relationships. He and my boyfriend are both, to use the OP's terminology, my "A" partners. I really...

I agree with what others have said about it usually being a bad idea to add others to a struggling relationship. I agree with it even though that's exactly how I ended up being poly; my husband and I had some serious incompatibilities, including sexual ones, that had our marriage at the breaking...

Dungeon told me he's taking a break from playing with anyone for a while, so that isn't a thing at the moment. We only got together once; we had another time planned but he had to cancel because something came up, and then we planned again but he had to cancel because he was sick. It kind of...

Personally, I would consider it weird to call up someone I'm involved with and say, "Hey, this other guy I'm seeing canceled on me, are you available?" I would feel like I was using one as a replacement for the other, and I don't like playing "interchangeable parts" with the people I date. A...

In my core configuration (the V of myself as hinge, Hubby, and my boyfriend), we do our best to avoid hierarchy. My boyfriend, not having a life-entangled partner, seems to do pretty well treating his partners fairly. I won't say equally, because in my mind it's impossible to treat different...