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Hi Silhouette, Hmm.. If you're not hiding from fear or judgement, what are you protecting those you love from? No one will ever walk in your shoes. Not even your two men. That's why knowing yourself and knowing how to communicate is so important. I can relate to that. The warrior speaks...

The two primary parts of this situation, if I understand it correctly, are: 1) Your wife does not want you to be with Kim the way you want to be with Kim - period. 2) You have feelings for Kim that are pretty urgent. So urgent, that not "going there" feels like a pressure cooker to you...

Exactly.

I removed my original reply because I sometimes can be blunt, and I thought galagirls's softer approach may be more helpful to you than my blunt approach. Since you quoted me and answered me, I'll tell you the rest of what I was thinking. There are people who swing with the intention of getting...

Her behavior is so unreasonable that I think this is her very clumsy way of telling you she wants to end her relationship with you. I would stop trying to explain yourself or get her attention in any way. Let her go. The only people who work hard to get the attention of those who treat them...

Hi SchrodingersCat, I just noticed that you were talking to me in part of your reply, with these words: I agree. This was the point I was making to ThunderZag. ThunderZag, I'm very proud of you. Keep in mind no one (not even Abe and K) really know what Abe and K are going to do. The most...

I know this is a painfull situation for you. I'm glad you can see what's really going on, and you're willing to he honest with yourself about it. That tells me you have the wisdom to figure out how you want to live, and the strength to build that life for yourself - regardless of how the talk...

I understand you still want this relationship. I still see some things that don't fit. I'm going to try to show you those things by quoting some of your own words back to you: If she wants to be a part of "our relationship with both of us", why is she not talking to you? She doesn't want to...

By saying this to you, Abe clearly told you he doesn't have the boundaries or maturity to honor agreements. The situation you are in now is a very reasonable and predictable result of his poor boundaries. Any time you're ready. Are you ready yet? Unless he puts a lot of work into changing...

I see these two statements together as Sally saying no, because it's not a clear yes. In any relationship, clear communication is vital. I takes work to maintain open communication as a relationship matures, even if it's really open and honest at the beginning. These two statements say to me...

Yes, this is definitely a situation where Sally is allowed to be "different", but you have to fit into what she considers "normal". So what do you do with something like this? First, understand that she said no to you, but the reason she said no is not about you. Don't take it personally. Move...

I agree with Marcus, who wrote this, and SchrodingersCat who also quoted this. You and your partner are not compatible. That's fine. I know you're upset about it, but the good news is you now know you're incompatible. The best thing you can do for both of you is to end the relationship as it...

He is afraid, so he wants you to do something you don't want to do to relieve his fear? Do you see what I'm pointing out here? Someone who is afraid of not doing something, wants you to be open minded so his fear can be relieved. This is not about multiple loves. This is not about love at all...

Sure. I'm glad you're willing to take an honest look at it. I know this stuff can be a lot of work to process. If you're willing to take this a little further, I want to point out there is a reason you are attracted to a needy guy like your boyfriend. There is neediness in you too: This...

Hi tree166, Thanks for the explanation. MeeraReed asked a very good question: The answer is because he is unstabe, possessive and needy himself, but in a different way than the women he finds are. A "compatible" way. The two of you started a relationship with each other during a period of...

It would help me understand your situation better, and maybe others as well, if you would explain more about this: and this:

Loving yourself for who you are is an act of courage. Doing things that respect, honor and support those you love is also an act of courage. I understand that you see your situation as a dilemma. Do things one way, you are being nice to your parents and hurtful to those you love. Do things...

Callie is in an unstable situation. That instability will come into your marriage if she pursues this relationship now. Callie needs to clean things up on her end before doing anything with Val. That means Callie needs to decide if she is in or out of her marriage. If in, she needs to take...

This is exactly what I was thinking as I read your story - with emphasis on: I think so too. Yes, the mysteries of life we all think about. Overall it sounds to me like you're doing well. . . . and the discoveries - whether you walk right up to them, or trip over them. Details, details. Be well.

It would help to know more about all of this. What happened, and how much the two of you have talked about it.