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This is not about the religion. It's about the people who may judge you. Just because someone is a parent, does not by itself mean they have the ability to love anyone. Judgement, regardless of the belief or perspective of the person who is doing the judging, is not love. Judgement that is...

Is there a part of you that assumes other people won't accept you for who you are? You can be a little softer about it if you want, but no matter how you say it, he will know this is exactly what you are saying. You had time to get to know Pan, so you knew she would accept your sexuality...

Talking about things before they happen is always the best. Both of you need to talk about boundaries (condoms, etc). The sooner the better. Why would asking ruin her fun? Communication is critical. You need to be able to talk to her openly and honestly. She needs to welcome your questions and...

You've put a lot of effort into explaining how open minded you are, but you have not been able to see your girlfriend's desire to be mono as a valid, healthy, honorable option for her. While claiming to be open minded, you have actually been very closed minded about the lifestyle choices other...

As I was writing my last reply, I was thinking to myself: "This guy might actually give me the number" - and you did. That's funny.

Hi roots, You sound very sincere, and you sound like you're working hard on yourself. Both of you seem to be very willing to talk to each other. Since you started doing that, it sounds to me like you both have learned a lot. I have a suggestion. This entire thread was started by scout...

You sound very sincere. The most important thing you can do is figure out who you are, and how you want to live. It sounds like you already know how important that is, and you're working on it. Just make sure you only make commitments and promises you can keep. Since a dozen is 12, several...

You just came out of a marriage. Now you want to play. That's fine. Play. There is a reason it's called playing. No real commitment wanted. I read your post. I know you said you are willing to take care of "your girls". The overall tone of your post sounds more like you want your girls to take...

The betrayal means there are fundamental problems in your marriage that have not been resolved. The betrayal itself is a reaction to those problems. The very best thing both of you can do right now is to talk openly about the problems in your marriage until they are solved, including whatever it...

The only thing you can do is tell him how you feel. It sounds to me like you've already done that. You've done everything you can for him. One thing you can do for yourself is learn better personal boundaries with him. You can't fix him or heal him. You can only acknowledge who he is now, and...

Hi Panda, You sound like a very sincere person with good personal boundaries. You sound like you're willing to learn about different ways of doing things, and you already have a pretty good idea of what works for you. That's a pretty good place to be. It sounds like there are some differences...

I understand. I didn't get the strength I have today from the easy and good times in my life. I got it by getting through the hard times and the fears I used to have. I think it's interesting that strength is a very good thing, but it doesn't come from the easy good times. It comes from the hard...

Hi Cleo, You have courage. Courage is something to be celebrated. Go celebrate that tonight. Celebrate that right now too - and 5 minutes from now. It takes courage to look at yourself. It takes courage to look at your personal stuff the way I know you have. It's time to give yourself some...

I do have a couple of things to add. I just read GalaGirls post. If this really is just about dishonesty then I agree with the boundaries she is talking about. It's up to you to enforce them, and then decide for yourself if you still want the marriage if she continues to break them. You two had...

No more questions. I'm going to spend a few more minutes on the forum if you have anything else to add.

You're absent in your marriage. You're using poly as a replacement for the "you" that isn't there. You think by doing this you are no longer absent. You think by doing this you are being a responsible husband. Absent is not a way of taking responsibility. You did not become poly. You stepped out...

That's why I'm asking questions. Tell me more about this.

No. I'm looking for as much information as possible about how you two are talking. Trying to learn the history that leads up to the issue. The more information the people on this forum have about your situation, the more likely someone will be able to help. You are pointing to some...

How long have you two been poly? Have you two been poly the entire relationship, or a part of it? How did the first poly conversation happen? What were ongoing conversations about it like? What are the boundaries that you two agreed on? How is she breaking them? I know you talked a...

I like your thinking. It's clear and level headed. The one thing I recommend is to let go of all your concerns about how long things will take. Do what works well now. Live your life focusing on that.