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Yes! I will draw you the picture I see. You have a very active social life and you like to get to know the people in it very well - to the point where you can predict their behavior. Your comfort zone revolves around predicting the behavior of those in your orbit. I use the word orbit because it...

Hi Cleo, I quoted and responded to a few things below. The very first thing I want to say is I like to cut through my own issues like a buzz saw. I tend to look, discover and resolve my own stuff fast. That's just my pace. It works for me. It's given me a pretty good life, which in turn...

Your replies show very clearly that you're uncomfortable with them getting intimate. You clearly point out what the problem is NOT - jealousy or them talking about you. The two of you talk, you tell him no, he accepts that answer and backs off. Unless I missed it, I can't find the place in your...

Please add paragraph breaks to make your words easier to read. I did read your story. Do you have a specific question to ask?

When you say too dependent, do you mean too dependent on you? If so, isn't your friend a different person than you? Could it be that you feel that these two people know you really well, so if they get together and talk about you a lot, both of them will know way too much about you?

I'm glad you're able to see this in yourself. It's another step forward.

You say you want a triad. A triad is 3 people in an intimate relationship. That means 3 people being intimate any way they want. That means 2 of them could be having sex while the other is off grocery shopping or traveling on business. In a true triad, it is impossible for 2 of the partners to...

Reading your story put an image in my head about how you found your boyfriend. The image shows you putting on a blindfold, and walking into the unknown and accepting whatever you find there. My opinion ( take it for whatever you think it's worth) is you are in a toxic relationship. You got there...

Glad to hear it. Have fun and happy birthday.

The best way to help someone lighten up is to lighten up yourself. The only way to truly lead is by example. Life for you does not have to be a constant therapy session. Maybe it has to be for her right now. I edited my original reply a bit to include the fact that moving in together is a huge...

I agree with him. Her insecurities are her stuff for her to solve, but your reaction to her insecurities is your stuff. What's going on with you wearing yourself out to try to convince her to behave in a way that is more comfortable for you? How do you want her to act, and what would that way of...

I read your story. There are so many different directions your relationship could go, from where it is now. It would be really helpful to ask her to talk about her fears. Is she willing to register a separate user name here and talk?

Your hubby has a shiny new toy to play with. I'm not the first to use this phrase. It fits in your situation. I say this very sincerely. He is drunk on New Relationship Energy. Your job is to make it very clear to him that you need him to consider your needs too. If he doesn't want to listen to...

What are you (focus on yourself please) not getting, since Z appeared in your life, that you want?

Have you noticed that antsy impatient you wants to tell the dogs this? Your dogs are showing you a part of who you are right now. Your situation sounds good overall. You just need to learn how to breathe............ and move with it all.

A submissive wife playing the dominant role with you... Hmm... the next move with the psychological rubics cube. Trying to control her with your own anger and possibly a threat of leaving her is bringing you a lot of stress. How about the very opposite? You can't control her anyway, so how...

Well put. I agree.

Me? No. She is the one focused on manipulation. I have been focused on trying to help you see it. It's a big part of your issue. Your catch 22. I do think you're starting to understand yourself better. Good talking to you kiddo. I hope you got something here that helps.

Sar, I'm not focusing on her anymore. I'm focusing on you. Focusing on her too much is part of your problem. Low self esteem again Not a fascination, just an interest? Same difference. You've got a catch 22 going on. That is - you're fascinated by the knife that cuts you - the manipulator who...

Tell me more about this: Yes you do, but you can't get close to anyone. Why are you so fascinated by her ability to manipulate?