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It sounds like you're ready for some real change in your life. I want to know more about this: and this:

How was your self esteem when you first met her? And look what kind of person that got you. For example, I'm a woman. I have been told many times I am gorgeous, and I could easily be on the cover of a fashion magazine. I have had people ask me if I am a model when they meet me for the first...

I'm trying to figure out if the primary reason she is with you is because she knows she can get away with "stuff". That's why I asked if you really are not sure if she is still manipulating you. You seem pretty casual about " I cheated, and I'm going to be with this other guy, so take it or...

Yes You don't? Resistant to what?

Sleeping with someone several times happened in the spur of the moment? She waited until she got home to tell you because she knew it would be much easier to manipulate you into accepting what she did if she could talk to you face to face. This is obviously not the first time she has...

To all who have contributed to this thread: I have read the full length of it. I know there are a lot of very good people trying to help Daffodil. I have tried myself. Every once in a while someone comes along who is not interested or ready for help. There is no reason for anyone to be on the...

Resolving this is the next step for both of you, not finding other people to be intimate with. It sounds like real communication feels threatening to both of you right now. You need to get to a place where really talking is fun and feels good. Eventually, that place may not be with him. It won't...

Very good. Sounds like a great start. Sounds like you learn fast.

First of all, I applaud you for having the courage to start the conversation. Now your job is to keep talking. Acknowledge his fears. Tell him what you're afraid of. Tell him what you want. Keep the conversation moving. This is only a guess, but the abruptness of your question, "Now what?" hints...

Its time to start telling him exactly how you feel and how you've changed. It's time to ask him how he feels and really listen to him as he answers. Yes, starting this conversation will start to change things between the two of you immediately. I think you know that, which is why you're...

I have a question for you that I'm asking you to think about. What is the one thing you could do or ask for right now that would make a big enough change in your life to make you more comfortable right now.

nightrush, I've been reading this thread, and I want to clear up something. I would make the assumption that everyone wants to talk, but I would make no assumption at all about what kind of relationship configuration the three of you have when you find what works. If you're going to aim for a...

By requiring 100% equality, you are making a demand that is creating stress and being unrealistic. People are all different by the very nature of being human. Discovering the differences and honoring them is a big part of all happy relationships. The three of you seem to be tossing a lot of...

Your goal is for everyone to live together and sleep in the same bed. Partner A is not in love with you. A says if anything goes wrong you have to leave. B wants both of you. The loyalty thing. These are all separate pieces that don't fit together. What is the loyalty thing? Is the reason for...

Here is my summary of what I think you are saying: You didn't want to give your husband affection or sex. You told him to go find sex somewhere else. He did. The woman he found fell in love with him. You are watching her give him all the goodies you didn't want to give him. You are watching...

A rule like this always comes from a couple who is very insecure about their own relationship. It's unrealistic. Imagine sitting down with a scheduling calendar and a "to do" list and deciding who you're going to fall in love with, when and why. Unrealistic. See above. Unrealistic for you as...

The story you told is really about your partner constantly breaking the agreements both of you have made. Do I have this right? If so, it's time to have a serious chat about it. See if the chat moves him to be honest from then on. If it does, great. If it doesn't, then your next move is to...

I know your life is a roller coaster of emotions right now. I like the boundaries you have up. I highly recommend taking as much time to process this as you need to before making any major life changing decisions. Although he is the one who cheated, the decisions you have to make will deeply...

She is not poly because she is not honest. She cheated and lied. You decided to work with her to polish the results of her lying and cheating. Your efforts gave her something. It gave her the "balance" that works for her. She wants to be with him a lot more than she wants to be with you, and she...

Hi Galagirl - You gave me a belly laugh with this. I'm picturing you at a party. You're lighting off fireworks to have fun and keep it light, and you accidentally burn the place down. Oops, I thought my aim was better than that! Better luck next time! Hey, Jedi Warrior over there, is there...