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Love this article! Thanks for sharing RP!

I've thought of that quote several times in the past year. "Never make someone a priority when you are an option." It's a natural thought. But the fact is, you are a priority, or you wouldn't be there. If you felt that he never made you a priority, you'd be gone already. I question my...

You know, you have to approach this relationship similar to being Single. You must be OK with being alone, finding joy in other things other than a romantic relationship; children, friends, hobbies, family, career. This relationship can add a wonderful Hiatus to the 'real life', consider it...

I still sometimes think I should save us all a lot of grief and just walk away. Easier said than done, when you find something great, it's natural to want to hold on and make it successful. But beware ,the deeper you get involved, the harder that is to do or even consider.:confused:

Hi WH. My story is similar to yours. Married a very long time. I was single for 2 years before I met my bf. After months of chatting online, and me refusing to meet him and get involved in this (what I felt was a messy) situation, I ran into him one night. We had a drink. I was so tired of...

I thought they had it figured out, but I was wrong to assume that. It's been a learning curve for each of us. Communication is vital. Co-Primaries would be nice, wouldn't it? Relieve that sense of competition and as a 'secondary' , that constant feeling of rejection. How could that not set...

Your story made me cry. I'm a Mono Secondary too (And I too, hate that word). My greatest fear is that one day your story will be my own. Hugs to you. Hope you find peace sooner than later.

You know, nobody likes to hear negative things about themselves and a personal situation. I do feel deep remorse for hurting both Julie and Jared. As you said, and I've said plenty, I just wanted things to work for all of us. And I still believe that it can. As Jared said, we will all be...

Yes, anonymous to the world, but upsetting to them that I had those thoughts. As I said, it was like a journal, with feedback, no ill intent, just trying to make the best of a confusing situation. I'm just a normal woman, in a less-than-normal circumstance, with a limited perspective, trying...

I'm sorry. I feel that I've portrayed Jared and Julie in a very unfair manner. It's caused a lot of hurt and pain that I can't erase. Words can't express how terrible I feel about that. Thank you for all your support and thoughts in helping me wade my way through his tough journey. :) How do...

Thanks, Redpepper. I just want to do what's best for all involved. I don't consider myself a threat. I've always been fair and compassionate. It's the nature of who I am. Sometimes I'm too much of a pushover, keeping my mouth shut to keep the peace, regardless of my own needs. (My ex-husband...

Thank you, PG. :) I hope that, out of all the stuff he read, that he got that idea, too. I did get value out of this, reading and hearing about other's experiences. It did help clear my head. I called it, to him, a journal with feedback. :) You've been great! Thank you so much. I will be...

No, he isn't telling me that at all. He is sad that I'm even in this situation to have the need to seek the help. He feels I deserve better. Even sharing him, I just want him. I don't want anyone else. :(

Dinged, yes, you are right. I do want a good relationship for all three of us. It's my #1 goal. Thank you again. :) NYCindie, yes, of course they have been helpful. Every experience is one of learning and growth. Thank you so much for your understanding. :)

I really appreciate everyone's thoughts and comments and feedback. Rereading these posts tonight, I see the raw emotion of them, the often irrational thoughts coming out of my head, unfiltered, as I try to make my way through this complicated journey. Many of them come out of fear, anxiety...

PaperGrace, your supportive words and empathy certainly did help. I'm trying so hard for this to work! For all of us! It's nice to know that someone is rooting for me. :). Thank you so much!

Hence my dilemma. I have TRIED to talk to her, but she simply will not. She avoids all opportunities for us to talk privately. And, based on her telling him these blatant lies, violating my privacy, why would she want an honest conversation with me? There is nothing honest about it on her end...

So, here's the update. I finally had some quality time with Jared last night. He slept here and stayed until after lunch today. It was great. We did need some repair time. Get this... So he told me last night that he was concerned for his Julie. Ever since we returned from vacation, she has...